It’s all go…..

Current mood: productive
Category: Life

I have a man in my front garden with a digger! Who would have thought it? Well, me for one seeing as I asked him to do my drive for me so not a complete surprise when the big yellow beast appeared at 6:30 this morning.

So at last we get to a stage where I will be able to park my little Renault in the garden Yay!

Other than that, he's told me to bugger off and keep out of the way as I do tend to be a pain in the arse digging things etc so cleaned out the outhouse instead. Which means I now have loads more tat in the bigger shed, which REALLY needs sorting out big stylie – so might just go and do that next….talk about productive… scary stuff.

And I'm all grubby to boot….*grin*

Currently listening: INXS - Greatest Hits By INXS Release date: 01 November, 1994

I cheated slightly

Current mood: calm
Category: Life

I finally dropped the bombshell on the parents this evening in a sneaky kind of a cheap shit way.

I was then loading the dog into the van with mumsie asking about something or other and it kind of slipped out about me leaving the council. Something was said along the lines of "biggest mistake of your life" etc etc blah blah but at that point arse was pretty much into the van seat and engine started which in its own way is a kind of "la la la la cant hear you"

Toddled off with my ears burning like hell all the way home.

Pretty damn sure tomorrow morning isn't going to be fun when dropping off the hooligan…..

Balls, but at least it's done now.

Currently listening: America By Razorlight Release date: 05 October, 2006

Why thank you….

Current mood: chipper
Category: Life

......for all the support and good luck, very much appreciated and alas no, you are all quite safe, it wont shut me up completely not talking about the new job as there are still many things out there in the big wide world of which I will quite happily moan about!

So on the plus front, after Monday I have applied for my first ever tachograph driver thingy card tonight which was a 'fun' form to fill in for sure…. Have booked myself in as on leave during my notice to go do the training for the new job which is quite good to be honest as it leaves me with one and a bit weeks of actually being at work for the old job! Excellent stuff!

On the down side however, big ole' hairy arsed chicken shit here STILL hasn't told the parents, which is starting to make me cringe when I think about it now… so after my pretend kebab dinner tonight I am having an early night so as not to have to think about it until tomorrow…. "cluck, cluck cluck"

Currently reading: BBC Top Gear Supercars By Slow Dazzle Release date: 01 June, 2000

Oh so brave – yet also such a complete chicken shit.

Current mood: accomplished
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

Today I did something that has left me going through what seemed like every emotion under the sun.

I handed in my notice for my job……who would have thought?

But as scared, ecstatic, freaked, frightened, weirded out, happy, sad and somewhat confused as I was I just couldn't wipe the bloody great grin from across my face.

I have 4 weeks of notice to work then I am no longer a professional minion for a company that thinks no more of me than a piece of cack stuck to your shoe…. About bloody time if you ask me.

So where is it I am actually going? Well for once in my life I am not going to say. Not because I think I will fail, or I will hate it and come crawling back to the job I have just jacked in but to be honest because I do talk a little bit too much about stuff on here and it's about time I didn't – simple as that.

Fingers & (long) toes crossed, it will all go well and you will know if it is, as I will be quiet for once… what a treat for you all!

And if I am totally honest I am just not going to get the time to sit here writing a complete load of bollocks, as I will actually have to work for a living.

Who would have thought that? And of little ole' me?

So what did I chicken out on – seeing as I have just made the biggest decision of my life?

Ahh yes that would be telling the parents what I did today… Decided to save that little gem for another day…. When I feel a tadge more together about it all….heh heh

So hello new life – here I come!

bricking it all the way :)

Currently listening: Need You Tonight and Other Hits By INXS Release date: 14 September, 2004

Mildly panicking is an understatement.

Mildly panicking is an understatement.
Current mood: restless
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

Friday I was informed by phone that, should I wish to take it, I have the job I applied for. Blimey.

I thought they were only going to let me know in writing, so figured I wouldn't hear until Saturday or maybe as late as Monday even… Ringing me Friday did kind of put the wind up me somewhat but then sent me into a complete head spin. Mum & Dad were looking after the mad black lab for me due to "pre-arranged night out" So even though I knew virtually all day Friday, still didn't choose to tell them I had been offered it until I actually went to pick up the hooligan Saturday. Lets just say they were not as pleased as maybe some others have been, and mum bless her, being mum was quite vocal about it.

I sat there listening to a large barrage of emotional blackmail for a while then toddled off home – rather hung over.

So I have had the entire weekend (well apart from Saturday morning when I did still feel a tadge drunk) to start mulling over what I was actually going to do.

Oddly I seemed to be ok yesterday afternoon as I just kind of larded – watched a film and felt relaxed and to be honest forgot about it all. Overnight however the brain obviously sobered up and decided to kick in big stylie.

I had three really weird dreams about where I work now all of which woke me up, and when I did try, struggled to go back to sleep for a good hour. Finally gave up and got up at 6AM which was thanks to British chuffing summer time kicking in overnight 7AM.

Decided to get off my arse and get on with 'something' it didn't matter what it was just anything would do as long as I could keep this whole "life changing dilemma" out of ones tired little swede for a while.

I then turned into an OCD basket case of cleaning the house. This has gone to the ultimate extreme over the course of the day. There is pretty much not one bit of this bloody bungalow that hasn't been had the once over today. If anything I've scared myself into how much cleaner it all now looks, even tackled the bathroom… jesus.

So now that everything's clean, and there is nothing else left to do but open a bottle of wine and figure out if I should hand in my notice tomorrow.

Answers on a postcard please:

PO BOX who am I?

Norwich

Currently listening: You Get What You Give By LMC vs the New Radicals Release date: 09 March, 2006

Ohhhhhhhhhh er

Current mood: mischievous
Category: Life

I am in shock… I haven't smoked for a whole week… And you will all be very pleased to hear I will shut the fuck up about it all soon as to be honest it's even boring me shitless now.

One of the gals at worked asked if I would be treating myself today for doing so well…. I hadn't even thought about that, so picked up fish and chips on the way home and thanks to finishing the tablets yesterday can now have a glass or two of wine this evening Hoofuckingrah!

"So tonight Matthew, I am going to be an old drunk tart - singing along to Madonna"

Currently listening: Madonna: GHV2 (Greatest Hits Volume 2) By Madonna Release date: 13 November, 2001

Two things today pleased me soooo much

Current mood: hopeful
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

One was for the first time in three weeks I woke up without a headache. Hoorah! Sinus infection has died… and bloody good riddance to you.

Secondly was my assessment day with the prospective job front. I've had so much fun today it was scary!!!! It was a whole host of things from reversing a bigish van with a chuffing great trailer on the back, driving about to prove you are not a danger to yourself or other road users…

Putting things up to see if you can work as a team, pulling them to bits and finding out if you can basically use your common sense through a whole list of stuff. Also I now have engraved in my head "whatever you do don't scratch the red paintwork"

I still now have to decide if I want to chuck in a relatively well paid (well at the moment) job which is annual and somewhat secure for what is basically a summer job. And chance if I can actually get some work come winter when the season is over.

Pointless me deciding anything until I have heard from them as to if I even get offered the job though. They decide Thursday.

I am still in two very distant minds about it all and will tomorrow post all of the pro's and cons for said new job should I get offered it if nothing else for some feedback from all of my mad arsed friends!!

Other than that, I'm bleeding knackered and still haven't had a fag J and today is the last day of tablets as well so can at least have a glass of wine or 5 tomorrow night yay!

Currently listening: Back to Black By Amy Winehouse Release date: 13 March, 2007

Ohhhhhhh bollocks.

Current mood: mellow

It's not often I have a crap memory, but today I have managed a complete blinder, at my cost I grant you.

Nooo I haven't succumbed to having a fag…. Still been good on that front but have managed to completely forget this afternoon I am on the tablets of which I shouldn't be drinking on…. Opps!

The reason was the ironing…. Because as a rule when settling down to a few hours of pressing clothes – I set myself up with a couple of DVD's and a beer or two – as you do. Today was no different… until I realised after can no two of ale I was completely wobbling like a good un! Oh dearie me, that would be the effect of drinking on the anti's then, so much of a trauma it seems I have just poured number 3 and am sitting here laughing at my other complete balls up of the day.

Widge (you will see on my friends list) also gave up the fags Wednesday… and still doing much better than me! Now she had mentioned she had washed all her curtains to get the smell of fags out… good plan I thought! Down came the living room curtains into the machine for a 'freshen up'.

Good call Widge….

Until I got them out of the tumble dryer, ironed them and re- hung them back up… a good 3" shorter than the were originally….

BOLLOCKS.

Well that will teach me for not reading the label and drying them…

On a plus note though I am as high as a kite and will enjoy my last can of Bass before I fucking fall over!

Currently watching: The Pink Panther Release date: 31 January, 2006

Mutiny in the anti-biotic’s front.

Current mood: contemplative
Category: Life

I am still yet to wake without a headache… Yes, it has tailed off so it only lasts the first 2 hours of the day now, but head still hurts all the same. Oh well – will give the tablets the full 7 days to do their stuff I suppose. If they haven't shifted it by then I can see me throwing myself overboard.

So apart from that and the fact I spent all day in the garden yesterday moving plants so as to save them from the chap with digger when he comes to install the new driveway soon not bad really. Into day 5 now of the 'weed eradication plan' and even though yesterday I was somewhat touchy on occasion still going strong.

Looking forward to Tuesday's "Assessment thingy" even if we have been forecast snow/sleet and shite… so that should make for an interesting day playing outside…..

Right hours & hours worth of ironing to do…. Great.

Currently watching: Due South (4 pack) Season 1,2,3 PlusThe Final Season

Day two about to be over and…..

Current mood: tired
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

Still hanging in there… not one fag has been touched.

Woooooo who would have thought? Me with will power!

However am completely fucking knackered due to getting home late and off to read for a bit then sleep for Britain.

Currently reading: Quit Smoking Now: Programme Your Mind to Stop Now

Obviously I was not paying that much attention last month….

Current mood: complacent
Category: Life

Now don't get me wrong here, I am not a complete nugget all of the time but the organising of ones stop day for the dreaded weed was set purely for MY benefit. So imagine my utter delight today when it did finally dawn on me its national no fucking smoking day. Widge, bet you fucking knew didn't you?

I had, on February 13^th arranged with said welfare officer that I would not be giving up on my birthday (13^th March) for obvious reasons but would go for the day after quite happily. No problem. One month and a day to get ready for stopping the bloody things, yep that would do.

Yet, even though she (Welfare officer) is, granted new at the job of smoking person thingy and I have been her first contender, still failed to point out to me I was actually going to be trying to give up on a fucking day where EVERYWHERE would be reminding me of the fact! For Fucks Sake! That will teach me for not doing my research now wont it.

Sometimes I scare myself as to just how dippy I can be.

So how has day 1 gone? Actually, surprisingly well. Not best pleased with the first 2 minutes of slapping these micro tab thingies under the tongue, as to be honest they initially taste like you have been actually chewing on a fag which isn't the most pleasant of taste sensations.

BUT I haven't had one all day, made myself go to situations where I would want one and didn't…. and been amazed at just how calm I have been through it all. Not even a hint of wanting to kill anyone! Excellent!

So for once I am really proud of myself for actually doing something worthwhile. However it comes at a price because its just gone 19:00 and I am now going to bed as I am fucking gagging for a fag and sleep is the only time I don't crave!

Nighty night ;)

Currently listening: Galvanize By The Chemical Brothers Release date: 25 January, 2005