Fuck me swinging!

Current mood: cynical

It's been a week of annoying people by email/phone. Sainsbury's pet insurance seems to have been the best so far. My policy renewed on Sept the 4^th. Now for once in my life I actually have the money to pay up front, so being a good girl figured paying it in one lump and not monthly would save me a lot of time and hassle. Not a fucking chance! Its now nearly October and after 3 attempts to get them on the phone and 2 really sarcastic emails (one of which being very sarcastic saying "I can only assume that seeing as you wont take my money that the insurance is free for the year! Thank you very much" Have I had any response? Have I bollocks.

And then we get onto Virgin again. They were very helpful when I cancelled the duplicate flight but also told me I would get the refund by two weeks…. Yep, that's gone too so another email sent out to them as well….

Seems nothing gets done without some sort of reminder…. Hell I dunno.

Other than that, loving spending time on the new website for Hallswood. Keeping me very busy and out of trouble.!

No sign of an appointment from the hospital again… great. You watch, that bugger will come through for the week I am in the US – guaranteed.

Speaking of the US…. Two weeks to go! Hoorah!

Fortune cookie of the day:

"If the shoe fits it's probably your size"

Feeling useful for once.

Current mood: grateful
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

I've spent most of my life trying to help anyone and everything. I'm a Pisces and that's just one of the things we do!

Yes I may be blunt, to the point, smoke like a train, drink, swear far too much, have many tattoos and the odd piercing and scare most people but deep down I have passion and have needed to find some focus for it. I have finally found it.

This week I have donated a website and the managing of it to a wildlife sanctuary in Norfolk, who have been having the worst time of late.

They have done nothing but really good things, yet everything in life was starting to take its toll on them. The one thing they need is support & donations from people, who like themselves care unconditionally for every animal. This place is called Hallswood.

The reaction from everyone about the website, especially Keith & Lyz who run the sanctuary has been the key to the focus of my passion. It was a case of Hallswood needed me and I in turn needed them just as much.

So please do have a look at the website, it has helped me see how life can be better, which does seem selfish on my part but in doing it they will get the attention they rightly deserve also.

Thanks Heid's

www.hallswood.co.uk

Been a busy old week……..

Current mood: calm
Category: Life

Last week when I booked the flight to the USA, the website of said airline was playing silly buggers. It took ages for the actuall Eticket to come through and had me worrying that I didn't have a flight at all. 2 days later – they sent me another one! (And dutifully charged me for it as well… bless them) So most of this week has been sent trying to get hold of the airline to point out that as much as I would love two seats on the same plane I didn't think I could quite manage to stretch my arse over two seats that were on opposite sides of the plane….. Fortunately that's all sorted now and I shall be refunded for the second one at some point in the next two weeks. (probably after they have made at least some money in interest from it.)

Then, I had to re-arrange my bus ticket to get me to the airport to an earlier one because of all of this bloody terrorism shite. Typical isn't it. I now have to wait around 7 hours in the airport just because some bunch of religious loons don't get their own way and can only use means of violence to get themselves heard. Wankers.

On a good note though, I had my knee scans yesterday. Talk about surprised. The machine was new, very flashy and not at all the steam powered contraption I was expecting at all! It took about an hour to have both knees done which also surprised me and as much as I was told and tried to stay still – the moment they started some of them (they did about 4 different ones on each knee) muscles were twitching of their own accord. Either way they will send the results to the orthopaedic Dr who will then make another appointment for me to come in and see him again – gawd knows how long that will be.

Other than that – we managed to get through the backlog of surveys at work leaving me very venerable to the folder fairy again… booooo but I'm sure something else will come back and kick me on the arse soon in the survey front (as it always does!)

Bad points of the week…. Been sober due to being on call…good points it was that busy it went really quick!

Fortune cookie says:

"Happiness and success rightly illude you"

sounds about right :)

I seemed to have "rattled a cage" lmao

Current mood: naughty
Category: Life

Now its very well known that I go onto yahoo answers as a bit of a stress reliever or if not that because I am drunk and just love to annoy people and confuse Americans.

So imagine my surprise when a "fellow" yahoo member emailed me this little gem of an email:

From: amberlizard

Subject: steve irwin

Message: if you meant what i think you meant by your bitchy, childish little remark then quite honestly you wouldn't know a good thing if it came up and bit you in the ****. you are evil and i don't know how people like you can sleep at night. take lots of sleeping pills do you?? it wouldn't surprise me, and maybe not such a bad idea...take a few more why don't you. the world would be much better off without people like you in it, slating good, decent people. you should be ashamed of yourself, silly little girl.

Now my initial reaction to this was…. Oh yes! What was the question that set this little social hand grenade off? So went back and found the offending question and my answer:

	what do you think of what happened 2 steve irwin???

To which my answer was:

"Lacked in speed"

Now seeing as this was such an overbearing reaction to my answer decided to pen a reply to said numb nut:

Well you do surprise me, I was expecting this little "rant" to have come from one of my MANY sarcastic answers of which I enjoy so much, yet... alas no! It was for a comment of which was actually true? Well if such a tiny little comment like that sent you into such a frenzy I think you should possibly take a quite bit of a sedative. My reaction to the death of Mr Irwin was in no way portrayed in my answer yet you seemed to have 'imagined' what it actually was elaborating it, well guess what? You were completely wrong. Not that it's as anything to do with you anyway. I can only suggest that you keep your opinionated little thoughts to yourself because as you quite rightly said I am evil and to be honest the 'give a shit' train left years ago. And just so you know, I sleep fine thanks in fact will sleep a lot more sound in the fact I know I have annoyed you so much so thank you very much. Yours... little girl.

So the moral of today's story?

Never underestimate the power of a complete fuckwitt with an internet connection.

Everyone feel free to go and annoy the weirdo:

nutjobs profile

Updates will be posted if they dare to reply :)

addictions:

Current mood: confused
Category: Blogging

Never thought it would come to this but I think I am addicted to a TV show.

So why oh why did it have to be Top Gear?

I'll shut up talking crap now....and go do something.

Friends list clear out time again! HOORAH! (myspace)

Current mood: calm
Category: MySpace

The classic of this is I now do not need to even be in a strop to do this any more :) Yep, yet again I am going to reduce my friends list down to a more manageable number… bit of a lottery really… will you stay? Will you go? Who knows how my mind works! And as per usual I will post a bulletin to let you know if you have made the grade or not…

It's all good fun really…..

And this ones going to be a big old haul out!

general ranting part 1

Current mood: discontent
Category: Life

Ok, so today I am going to just jot a few things down that really annoy me, just because! I will also add some "helpful hints" at how to avoid such situations if there are any.

"Screaming Kids in a supermarket":

Now any supermarket trip is bad enough but to be faced with a snivelling screaming child on the way round that has the supervillan ability to scream at such a pitch it perforates your ear drums is just enough to reduce me into one of two things. I managed to shut out this sound quick smart with a very loud set of headphones and some heavy metal music (believe me this is the only sort that will drown it out) Or option number 2: I turn into evil bitch from hell and start to do things on passing to scare the bejeebers out of the child. (Simple things like snarling as I walk past the snotty little shit or throwing stuff at it from afar so no-one see's me do it) However the person who should really be punished is the parent. They should have their child credit payments removed as a fine for letting their kids act up in such an antisocial way. Hmmm wonder if you could get an ASBO on a screaming baby?

"Middle lane motorway drivers":

So what part of the Highway Code do people not grasp about motorway driving? Its three lanes wide, and if it's empty you keep to the left. See! a complete piece of piss, even a monkey could grasp it. BUT ALAS NO! There so many people out there who still associate the left lane as a "slow lane" For fucks sake people it isn't! The road network would go so much quicker if we didn't have these thick as pigs shit morons who insist on staying in the middle lane. So then, poor gits like me when approaching one of these numb nuts has to go from the inside lane right across to the outside and back into the inside again just to get past. (Now you would think that would make a subtle hint really wouldn't you but no.)

Answer to this problem? Well as my Dad is always saying "You cant educate pork" So I think we can safely say we are stuck with it. I would however like to see a new law brought in that allows other drivers to just push these twats over into the correct lane, now that would be fun.

"Retired people"

Now I don't want to generalise here as this is a specific rant about my neighbour to be honest. Why is it that when as a working person you always end up living next to someone who has no respect for the fact that you do get off you arse every weekday early so would quite like to maybe sleep in on a weekend? Dear God no, that obviously cannot be allowed. So what do I get? All week he has the opportunity to cut his grass whilst I am at work so when does he do it? 9:30 on a Sunday morning. What a cunt. Only cure for this one is a shotgun me thinks.

ok enough ranting.....well for a day or two.

Fortune cookie of the day:

"Anyone going slower than you is an idiot!

Twat Magnet has been on form this week.....

Current mood: chipper
Category: Life

So what is a "Twat Magnet" I hear you cry?

Its a hereditary condition that affects only one in four of my family. I means that anywhere within a 50 metre radius of yourself - whatever you are doing complete twats are attracted to you and want a chat. Now on most occasions I am polite and nod as if interested and try to make them bored so they go away of there own accord. This wasnt the complete case this week. They were apprearing in their droves this week and to be honest by Friday I had completly had a gutful. Said last effort was dutifily told to fuck off as I wasnt in the mood.

Other than that its been quite a productive week. Work bless them have had me on my feet for most of it (much appreciated when you have ropey knees and could really do with plonking down on your arse for the most of it) But I am also annoying the crap out of a woman there who is really... well irritating. She will learn but I doubt very soon. (cant educate pork)

So seeing as I am quite chipper this morning I might even get off my arse and make a start on all that crap I havent done for so long.... like cut hedges & grass etc. Great I will be in agony by the end of all this.... oh well, life goes on.

wonderbra (wonder where the tits went?)

Current mood: weird
Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping

Now I have never been, or am likely to be blessed with a pair of knockers the size of melons and to be honest I think they would just annoy me. Now dont get me wrong, there are times I look down and think "hmmm wonder if they were just one cup size bigger...." However today proved to me without a shadow of a doubt as to why I like my small boobs...

I treated myself to a new bra the other week. Now you cant go anywhere these days without a bra having padded cups, lycra straps, swapable straps (clear to fabric) reinforcement, wires,, girders,heated seats, static protectors and go faster stripes it seems....and many other little handy gadgets of which no girl should be without. However, thats all very well and good but my new little addition to the nipple support clothing range was as per spec above a "t-shirt" bra of which cups are moulded... well sponge I guess.... So you would think I would be jumping with joy at the thought of a little bit more cleavage! - errr no. These things push you one way, pull another way hoik things up and down and by the end of the day I feel like I have had a fight with an octopus thats been clinging onto my tits for hours..... Not a plesant feeling I can tell you. Since arriving home I have sat here and thought... "right, thats it.. this 'thing' is coming off!

Now at this point I would like you to imagine the unleashing of massive mounds of flesh which heave into their natural postion again sighing as they go.... nope thats not my tits, but I'll bet you appreciated the thought ;)

But..... I have taken the evil creature off... I am now relaxed and what concerns me is this thing is still in the exact shape... hasnt moved a bit.... not even a hint of a stretch. bugger it's haunting me....

Dont think I will be wearing that one again....maybe I should sell it on ebay...that would teach it :)

Forgot again - fortune cookie...:

give a kiss to the person on your right

oh fuck off

Currently listening: Goodbye Jumbo By World Party Release date: 04 April, 2006

dont you just love it when.......

Current mood: drunk
Category: Life

even the simplest things like typing a blog take three times as long because you are copletly pissed as a fart?

NO ONLY have I been hitting the red wine hard, but have been socialising with the neighbours drinking their beer! cant be bad! which means a few things...

1. My knee which has been giving me LOADS fo shit today doesnt hurt anymore!

2. I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say..... opps.

So today was....take mumsie and C out for a meal day ... apparently for services rendered in the past.... so we were treated to a meal out... of which was turned into a day trip to Great Yarmouth..... oh joy....

fucking hell that place is still a hole to this day....

So after wandering about for hourrrrs we did have a meal (which was very nice) then wandered about some more. Now dont get me wrong I was asked on many an occasion if I and my knee was holding out and like the dutiful twat I am kepts saying "yes! of course I am fine! soldier on" However I am now unable to move in complete agony and really wish I had shut my fucking trap....

So home now, drunk - and packed up in so much ice even pingu is wondering what the fucks going on....

and just to prove we had fun : me and my mumsie :)

Ok so just had a sneezing fit and nearly peeed myself.... but all safe now ;)

Sp what comes of tomorrow? I will have a thick head and not want to do fuck all....so nothing new really !

fortune cookie of th day:

"people are watching you"

Fate helped me out for a while there....

Current mood: energetic
Category: Life

Seems that some 'divine intervention' kicked in this evening. My broadband has been out for a few hours giving me nothing to distract me and make me lazier than a baboons arse... hense I have now tidied and got the worst of the washing out of the way...

But the best bit? have hoovered up and no longer have to ewar socks to keep my feet clean on carpets around here....

sad but true... it was getting that bad.

Talking bollocks as per usual.

Current mood: contemplative
Category: Life

Sunday again..... whodeefucking do.

And yet again I have spent the weekend sitting on my arse doing sweet fuck all. I am certainly getting to be a lazy trout in my old age.

Maybe one day I will get out of this larding about mode but to be honest at the moment I really cant be bothered. Also the fact that resting my knees is actually good.... yeah sure denial is the key here.

Hmmm what shall I watch on TV next I wonder....

Ramblings of a weirdo

Current mood: chipper
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

Another work week gone.....shame.... lol

And after snarky emails, being very tired and not having killed anyone as yet - cant be too bad :)

Good news week....is its now... what? 15 days until I have the scan. Superb stuff. Even managed to get a plastic body ring so as not to be having my tit whipped around in a frenzy in the machine... good-o :)

I have also booked yet another week off..... in October and this time its a week for me!!!!! !!!!!!!*insert evil laugh here*

I have booked a flight and will be toddling off to vist T'lster for a week in DC. FANTASTIC! Granted getting the sodding flight has had me shitting myself as I thought I had missed out on the cheap one... but all seems booked and I can now just sit back for the 6 weeks before I go and relax..... yay.

So anyone got any travel tips fpr the arse?