Friends come friends go - but alas this one I might have just REALLY pissed off.

But not in the way I expected! How weird is that?!?!?

I will just explain the situation here as if nothing else I would like to clarify in my own head as to what the fuck just happened over the past 24 hours.

It starts with Sarah, of whom I used to work with many moons ago whom we got to be classed as friends I guess. We spent many evenings running round watching bands, drinking, enjoying being young and a shoulder to cry on the many times she went somewhat loopy over who had dumped her last.

This all kind of fizzled out when she moved back into the city and finally found a bloke who is most likely to tolerate most of her weird and wonderful ways. Hell I'm no catch or angel but think I do have a tadge more common sense sometimes.

So as with the other times she has a bloke I never normally see hide nor hair of her - which wasn't a bad thing. So when we did finally get back in contact as such and start meeting up on a regular occasion and she said her and the chap were getting married I was really chuffed for her. He is perfect for her in so many ways that the fact she will be happy, get on with what she wants to do with him etc alls well and good.

So, Me and S&L were invited to the wedding... very nice and thank you very much but from how it was initially envisaged from chatting, the reception would be bales of hay stacked, a grass roots band and quite a casual friendly affair.

So imagine when we appear at the venue at 4pm (time stated on the invite I might add) Bride is just getting out of the car there - so we are as good as damn it late which is initially bad enough But every one is suited and booted, hats with feathers and the whole nine fucking yards and here's us two standing like a couple of bleeding lemons in smart casual expecting it to be quite in formal.

We couldn't stay, we felt embarrassed, I thought we would embarrass the bride, we did say we would return for the meal but the situation would still have been the same.

We came home and had a BBQ due to expecting to be fed at said wedding didn't have food in for anything especially and then I obviously made that fatal mistake stating on facebook bbq and wine - fantastic. She's obviously read this - copped the arse left a cooment about her wedding was also very nice... then knocked me off her friends list.

So knowing she will probably read this - and in the message I have sent with the words not dissimilar to bollocks to you then I will once again state that if you want to stop being in contact with me just for that - I really don't want to be having you as a mate anyway.

I could list all the other stuff that annoys me about you as well but y'now what? the sun's shining, it's a glorious day out there and me and S&L are gonna go enjoy it. Giggling somewhat.

Some people just crack me right up sometimes.

Sun, big sister and doctors....

Been and odd sort of a day. Spent the morning with big sister visiting on her way back home to collect some veggie plants I had spare and a chat about various things, of which were good to be honest and stuff I will be considering for sure.

Then the bad bit of the day - had my three yearly smear test today. One of the few times I will wear a skirt lmao. I hate having it done as I should imagine does every other woman but has to be done now. Wouldn't want to be ending up like the old Jade Goody bird now would we?
Errr no


Then there is the fact we have had glorious sunshine all day, of which I am once again the blame for as I used virtually all of the water in the butts the other day thinking we were gonna have heavy rain as they were predicting... errrr no.

So now I can sit back... somewhat achy due to a good stint at the gym and have a sip or two of wine and relax = about bloody time I say!

So so - the day pans out alright after all....

I did finally get of one's arse, go to the gym via the supermarket for tea bags... sorted that initial problem. Then had a good hour and a half in the gym / pool being irritated by three, for want of a better words "lads" fucking about in the pool. Bless them didn't even occur to them I was old enough to be their sodding mother *sheesh*

Then on return home and checking up on the new little visitor in a shoe box who was pretty much back to full alertness judging by how he was trying to bit my gloved finger, so took him down the bottom of the garden and coaxed him in to a high level hole into the eaves of the wood shed which should give him plenty of peace and quiet until tonight when he can float off into the night and rejoin his group again.


So due to my efforts of the day and the fact that I am now not only fucking knackered and a bit Hank Marvin' starving am cooking up some oven chips as I haven't had chips for bloody ages and might even do some eggs to go with said chips.

yummy :D

Cats, bats, rain and tea bags (or lack of)

Not only is is fooking pissing down today (which is the second factor of no work today - well that and we have none ready to go as yet anyway...)

But its is also a dangerous situation here in Clements Castle, as I have just used the last tea bag up in the house and it's only 11am.
Now I am quite reluctant to make one trip out into the wet wild world just to go buy bloody tea bags which leaves me with only three other options.
I Have put in a request with S&L to pick some up on his way home.
This is a flawed option though as he started work today at 5am meaning only likely to finish at 17:00 ish - will then spend an hour at the gym so by the time he does finally get here with tea I will be a crumpled dehydrated heap on the floor with tea withdrawal death.
Then there is the - I could go an borrow some from my next door neighbour. This would be quite so bad but even though his car is there he's not. This leaves me not amused as I am now half way down said last cup of tea with no solution in sight as yet and panic has started to set in.


Of course there IS option three which is actually a good version meaning I get off my arse with gym kit, go have a workout and a swim (thus distracting me fro lack of tea) also the fact that gym is next to a sainsbugs.... thus allowing me to go purchase tea bags, come home sit back and relax with a cuppa once again.

OK - will decide exactly what that situation warrants in a moment.

Then we have the cat and the bat scenario this morning.
Whilst trying to sort out some washing this morning was inundated by the highest pitched screeching sound coming from near the front door.
I wander out to find Nipper pawing over a small furry thing making the noise in question.
Quite chuffed I had managed to get her this time before she left the rodent behind the sofa again... yeah yummy smell that one...
Put on a pair of gloves - picked it up only to realise its a poor little sodding bat of which does actually seem to be pretty intact considering... I can only put this down to neither of these cats have many teeth these days!

I took him round the back to a place where he would be protected from anything and could either recover and hide up or die... the usual tact and came back in.
After 10 mins and a pang of guilt, had a look on a local bat group website for info and decided to go get the poor little bugger in, snuggled up in a shoe box but at least warm and dry for either eventuality.

I also managed to get the daft little shite to have some water and currently its still snuggled up in said box, on the windowsill in here and makes the screechy noise of you try moving it.
FFS. Great, I now have a chuffing bat.
Worst part is - I've just given it more water and it's starting to improve... Oh well if that's the case it can go outside again and sort itself out!


So Nipper is in the dog house as such. I need to sort myself out and figure exactly what it is I am doing today!

I'm ok.... to a certain degree I suppose.

Excuse the picture above - I just found it hilarious :)

Yes, I have finally sat down here with the intention on updating with
the efforts of "Clements Castle" of late.

Well, for one I have had hardly any work in the last couple of weeks. Remember me mentioning boss man would guarantee at least two days a week? Well that has been the case. Not forgetting that there have been bank holidays in there as well granted but work has just gone rather quiet.
A pain on the cash front yes but not a bad thing getting to have some time with S&L seeing as he only has 3 months left before being deployed. Hmmm that's getting a little bit too close now for my liking but bugger all I can do about that.

Other than that - joining the gym has gone well so far. Managed to go at least 4 times a week since I joined, so if nothing else it has already paid for itself this month, and I for one am rather proud of myself for efforts so far too. I can't say there is any noticeable change to the flab as yet but these things do take time after all.

There does seem to be a light at the end of the S&L tunnel now though. Since his somewhat thick as shit wife "donated" a good chunk of her debt onto him when he left and him spending a good nearly two years saving and paying them all back he has now gone form no credit rating to a dang fine one thank you very much and I for one am very proud of what he's achieved. I think it probably is a relief to him that I for one can organise my financial affairs unlike "simples" and if anything else actually contribute to him finally being somewhat secure once again.

Garden is going well so far in this second year of veg... well some of it is.
Most of the brocolli, cabbage, carrots, broad beans, lettuce, courgettes, pumpkin & beetroot are well on their way. However unlike last year I cannot for love nor money seem to get any sodding runner beans to sprout. What the fucks wrong with that? And after seeing James May's plasticine efforts in the Chelsea Flower show this year I don't think I will be worrying about it too much :D

Only other problem I've been having this year I didn't struggle so much with last year is the addition to the family of two cats. Yep The Tiggywoo and Nipper too deciding that my veg patches and beds are a grand place to pee in did need to be addressed somewhat.
Amazing what you can do with that expandable trellis!

So thats me currently.... quite a content happy little sod to be honest. Working hard when i need to but certainly not working ones arse off and with ever intention to make the most of every moment with S&L as physically possible!

Goodo!

ohhhhhhhhhh hello!

Now that's just silly talk as is always the same with me.

On the plus side, over the last 24 hours I have been into the old myspace accounts of Mr_Arse & Trout, pasting all of the posts from those blogs into here.
I can't guarantee that they will be in the correct order, as it did involve posting each individual blog one by one. The other thing that did bring to my attention on re-reading of some of my posts is bloody hell do I ever get on-line when not drunk and do I ever stop bloody moaning?

Either way it certainly kept me entertained for a good few hours last night I can tell you.

So what could possibly have happened of late in the world of Arse/Trout hell I dunno who I am these days :D
Well I have been very good since the stopping of smoking back in January. I joined the gym a few weeks back and finally managed to get in and book my induction and programme as suggested by this young oik of a lad who didn't quite like the idea that I actually know better when it comes to my knees and lack of, well ability to do anything with them sometimes it seems.
Good thing is I now have a full range of stuff to do when I am there now all targeting that nice chunky area of thighs, tum and arse. I did actually only have to go to work at 09:30 today in the main office so after dropping off daft labrador got a good 2 hours in there faffing before work. Can't be bad and quite proud of myself for efforts so far.
I shall update you as and when things start to improve on the
"can I get my arse into my jeans again" front :)

The good thing about there not being too much work on of late is we got to actually go to the cinema the other day to watch Angels & Demons which was... OK. Granted the book was good and the film is very close to the book but still a tadge far fetched for my liking...

Well that's me somewhat up to date of late - will no doubt get rasped soon and spill a shitload more soon!

hey ho!

Sharing of the vodka, and rightly so.

Evidently I am still in a strop as S&L is only going to be home in the next hour (selfish fucking scouts - I say)

However once again the house or garden "got it" Not a bad thing really - He's not here, I get bored and "Bosch" veggies are planted outside, house is spotless once again, all furry items are fed & watered (granted one is sitting here looking at me whining as she is fucking pinning for her daddy of all things) but other than that everything is in order even down to stuff ready for work tomorrow and I can sit here and giggle at the fact its raining and the veg I have moved is being watered in nicely.

So the main problem? I am - once again... drunk.
yes this is due to him not being here etc etc blah blah but then if I can't cope now, how the fuck am I going to get on when he's shuffled off to the desert in September -

certainly food for thought for me.
talking of food - I had better get tea started.

Vodka and red-bull worthy? I should say so.

I've had a proper cunt of a day if I am honest. Ok so it's not up there with the worst day in the world type thing but it was one of theose you just 'know' it's going to be wank and no matter how hard you try it wont be any better.

The reason for this? Bloody home watch training day if which, as I suspected turned into a day of people being selfish, whining about their own little issues and not seeing the bigger picture and because the fact most of these people are in their "certainly fucking older than me" years will they even consider that the world doesn't actually revolve around then? dear god no... of course not!

Then, we also have the "where the fuck is short & loud" issue which has annoyed me must be said. They Scouts arranged for him to be on a recruitment stand this weekend and to be honest its at a local steam rally approx 20 mins drive away... so the cunts have had him since Friday fucking night (and tonight obviously judging by my drunk state and pissed off mood) FFS! Is it not bad he's going to chuff off for god knows how long in September off to probably get his arse shot off but they have to hog him when he's just up the bleeding road... wankers.

You can tell I have been proper annoyed as the bathroom now has two new glass shelves and is as clean as a whistle.

Other than that - I'm dandy - but then I would be... I'm as pissed as a fart now!

Celebrations, merriment and feeling proper ronnied today.

That's the good thing about other peoples birthdays, I still get the chance to get shitfaced good and proper.

Yep, Short & loud's 40th went really well. I bought his pressie back in January so didn't have to worry about any of that faff - got him the Lowa boots he wanted for boy scouts stuff... then yesterday lots of friends came together to drink and be merry and to say I have suffered today is an understatement. But worth every moment of it.

Enevitably I will recover - as will S&L but to recoop today will just be spent larding and playing poker online...lol