A pawn in somebody else’s game plan?

Current mood: blah
Category: Life

It's defiantly been an 'angry' day today. In fact I came home so enraged with it all I went straight out into the back garden and cut the grass. Actually that's a lie… I scalped the grass and it really never stood a bloody chance.

Don't get me wrong, we all have bad days, yes but when it starts to occur to you that there is one humongous game plan or ulterior motive going on of which you are evidently part of but being deliberately kept in the dark from then you tend to take offence. As I have done today. Not that it matters, because in a week and a half I will be shot of that place, well the whole politics side of it that drives me fucking mental anyway. That I won't miss one little bit.

Other than that I'm in quite good spirits I suppose considering how utter pants this year has been so far. And the only thing I can now do is look forward to the good things that will happen this year rather than dwell on the tat. Because to be honest if I start dwelling as much as some of my close friends here are at the moment I really do think I will put them on their arse. I love these friends to bits, will be there for them as I have been but right now they need a good old fashioned kick up the arse to snap them out of it. I'm thinking maybe I should be that sized 6 boot attached to it.

Roll on the new job…. I'm hoping it's going to be nights and I will probably find out Saturday night so I can turn into a proper vampire and not just the pretend one I have been for so many years…

And so starts the arse being social for a fucking change…

Current mood: distractable
Category: Life

Last night I went to a party for my friends Kerry & Bev. They were celebrating a fair old few things on one fail swoop. They renewed their wedding vow's, it was their wedding anniversary, Kerry, (this is a bloke by the way even though, yes a girls name and also my first ever boss) was celebrating his 60^th birthday which also means his retirement from where I used to work… then there was also the fact they are soon to emigrate to turkey. Like I said… getting them all in one big ole' party.

The party was held in a hotel in north Norfolk so knowing I would be going alone decided I would be a good girl, drive staying sober and come home at a reasonable time. Yeah right.

By 10 I had hatched a plan to be able to stay and get pissed as well… It worked. There was a spare bed in with one of Bev's daughters (whom I used to baby-sit and now being 21 made me feel VERY old)

Let's just say after the 'yes' was handed to me, the double voddy's appeared ;)

It really was a fantastic giggle. There were people there who I used to work with who I hadn't seen for bloody years and we all had a laugh catching up again. It was also was a riot watching Alan – pissed as a fart getting told off by an Amy Winehouse looky likey desperately trying to make sure he went in the cab home again.

Evidently I really did have fun, even though this anti-social, people hating, lazy miserable trout doesn't normally 'do' people.

Then after waking up early as per usual, in a strange bed in a hotel in the arse end of nowhere, figured I really should get home, shower and then go pick up the hooligan from Nanny's as mate Hayley was coming round for the day. Phew! All go for a change.

..

If that's not shocking enough for the bird that doesn't do going out…This Friday night is out start of season operators bash… of which, yes I will be attending – getting a tadge pissed and staying over at mums. Then Saturday night I have been invited out for a drink with the gals and guys from the new job I will be starting on the 6^th May… cant be bad and this time staying round a friends and bugger me going to see the band The Courteeners Sunday night. FFS! What the bloody hell is going on? I don't do going out! I'm an old fart! This is just daft!

But alas, it will probably do me good to start being what I can only assume is normal…

ahhh bollocks who am I kidding? It will just be yet more blog fodder for the grumpy cunt as per usual.

And so, life goes on in it’s usual fucked state.

Current mood: blank
Category: Life

I must apologise once again for neglecting people. Ican however honestly say that since being back at work and the fact I am working my months notice it does seemed to have gone tits big style without even the slightest bit of help from me.

Dont get me wrong, I am actually loving this, because being mentally busy means as you all know the days do go quicker. Nothing worse that being really bored shitless.

So imagine my delight when today I was dragged kicking and screaming into training the new ops starting this year (nothing exciting, just vehicle checks etc) This wouldnt have been quite so bad but in the journey to work from home to Mumsie Banks' to drop off fatty pup pup went as per normal but then I needed to go to our new site at Wymondham and on this journey low and behold the car started making noises like someone was in the boot, beating ten buckets of fuck out of it with a sledgehammer.

Being the dutiful person who does look after a few vehicles stopped (of course after the point when I nearly shit myself wondering what the fuck it was) got out and had a look under to see if a: my not really that old exhaust had broken. b: the suspension had decided to break in dramatic style or c: my shock absorber was ronnied.

On looking nothing was blatently hanging off or looked buggered so gingerly drove it to work avoiding anything remotly uneven on the road as this seemed to be the main cause of the sledgehammer effect going on in the back there.

On arriving, talking to various people we camt to the conclusion the shock absorber was bollocksed (it didnt take much, you could grab it and move it with your hand. - hmm not supposed to do that. Toddled off to a supplier of said new ones (you have to do these things in pairs like tyres, forked out yet more readies for this chuffing car toddled back for Nick to fit them for me. Then we realised we needed a special sodding socket to remove the top bolt... of which he didnt have one Oh for fucks sake! Toddled off to go borrow one of those too....

The damage was the bloody thing had completly snapped... sheared off... broken in two,

Pretty much fucked really.

So now, after much running around like headless chicken, great thanks to both Nick for fitting them, the lad with the strangest hair down the yard who's sockets I borrowed I am now back on the road again without the whole yeti with a drum in the boot problem - however a somewhat less squidgy ride than before due to these obviously "needing a bit of bedding in time."

I'm pretty damn sure my back and arse will be aching long before these fuckers have managed to get anywhere near bedding in stage....Pah.

"So tonight Matthew"

I will be muttering bint from Norwich who hates Renaults.

Vodka will help aliviate the pain i'm sure.

And you think your life is nuts?

Current mood: focused
Category: Life

Yes, all is now done dusted, Dad's funeral has come and gone, then finally Thursday night it hit me he's gone.

In a way I'm quite glad it all fell into place as it did because all the worst part of the whole situation had finished, I had gone back to work for a few days by then and the best one, I was home alone and not in the middle of a supermarket with a can of baked beans in hand ready to throw at some poor fucker unlucky enough to be in the wrong place at the wrong time type thing.

I would say the main reason I haven't blogged during all this was grief... nope wasn't that, so maybe just too busy?... OK so that's a bit true but not much. Not on the computer enough? nope that's not it either.

It was all to do with just how many things I couldn't fucking talk about that were going on...

For example. One of Dads wishes was for a small private send off, cremated then ashes placed in the back garden. Fair point I thought seeing as all the dogs and pets have been buried there throughout my life at least.

The intention, which was shared only with the closest of people was to keep it quiet from the world until it was all done and dusted & calmed down... then announce it to everyone to make of it what they will.

So imagine my utter delight when one of said 'closest people' slapped a notice in the paper within two days announcing his death... thanks a bunch.

Floodgates opened, and we had - pretty much 2 weeks of cloak and dagger of the family desperately trying to find out where and when the funeral was. Oh FFS, like we needed that at that point.

But, to cut a very long, daft story very short - the family in question who we were half expecting to gatecrash the bloody funeral didnt and all went as well as you expect a funeral to go I suppose.

And then there was all the other tat that just seemed to happen all at once... One family member of a yeast extract nature got a superb promotion as such where he works so is a very happy bunny. Big sister's house they had put in an offer for was accepted and just to complete it all I was told about a better paying version of my job elsewhere so applied, interviewed and offered it on the spot. Bleeding wars... all going on here now.

Then Just to complete it all, my brother in law was also promoted yesterday.

Then....

(Sorry if all this is patchy but its only just coming back to me in bits and bobs...)

When I went in to register Dad's death - I decided to fill in the application to have a copy of my birth certificate sent out me, seeing as I didnt actually have a copy myself. Nothing exciting there, until you see the copy they sent me...:

hmmmmm, me thinks someone is trying to tell me something. Bastards.

Also, bearing in mind the whole situation pretty much ronnied my birthday along the way, just wanted to say thanks loads to everyone who sent me messages, emails, cards and the best one : these.....

bwahahaha!!!! thanks widge :)

What else? well considering how mental its been pretty much nothing else - or if there is I sure as shit cant recall it right now so will sod off with a big thank you to everyone who's been checking in on me through the duration to make sure I hadn't turned into a complete fruit loop.

Thanks all, you know who you are

xx

Arse - lacking in Dad these days.