drained Just wanted to say a big thank you to all for the well wishes for us all on Dad’s passing Wednesday. Lets just say everything’s still pretty up in the air at the moment so if it seems like I may be ignoring anyone, I’m not I promise, just slightly pre-occupied as the moment.
Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.
Thanks
| Category: Life Just wanted to say Dad died this afternoon, I will return, dunno quite when though. |
confident
Happy Easter all, not that in any way am I religious or even give a monkeys fuck but its still days off (well apart from I haven’t been to work since my birthday anyways due to life of late) Also, any excuse to completely stuff ones self until sick with chocolate can never really be a bad thing.
I am still currently at Mum & Dads, Big sister & hubby needed to get their arses back down south again Friday to house hunt again (poor fuckers are technically homeless right now) So I stayed here to make sure mumsie had company and help should she need it. Hopefully it will help and they should be back again today. If nothing else it has given me time to sit down with all the leaflets and gumph about getting care for Dad, help and what he is entitled to etc etc etc as I know for one big sis has kept an arms length away from organising that, understandable seeing as she has got her own shit to deal with right now and mum is just struggling to get her head round anything at the moment which is also to be expected.
It’s been quite odd in a way. There have been arguments (not me for a change – between the parents) but only due to pride being hurt, peeps not wanting to ask for things and general lack of communication. I can only hope that by getting the two daft fuckers actually ’talking’ and not her shouting and him clamming up then maybe he will be slightly less un-co-operative when it comes to mum doing stuff for him. They will get there but it will take time and me keeping calm during it all.
I will be going back to work Tuesday after the BH weekend. I will have to organise quite a lot of stuff via the new social worker but if I can sort all that out for mum I for one will be a lot happier.
So this is the last of my sitting on my arse stints for the weekend because as soon as Dad is settled upstairs he’s getting all his computer back in his newley reshuffled room and can hopefully feel slightly less useless and get back on top of things again…
angsty
Latest Dad update: Today has been, well so irritatingly ridiculous that by the time I got in the car to drive home I was laughing my tits off like a nut thinking about it all.
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6 months ago when dad kind of decided he wasn’t getting out of bed anymore due to it just knackering him right out mum bought him and adjustable bed, fucking HUGE LCD TV, and pretty much everything he would need when stuck fast in his bed. No problem there then.
..
The problem arose today when the care people supplied us with a big old proper hospital stylie adjustable bed which (and here’s the crucial bit) goes right up and down so anyone ’tending’ to Dad wont hurt themselves stooping down to try to lift him from a funny low height.
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Now seeing as Dad was set up in what was my old bedroom (being the smallest, he was quite snug, with two radiators and rather a toasty little cubby hole if I am honest.) So to allow for said fuck off huge gadget bed and the carers needing to get all the way round him to do things, he needed to be shifted into the bigger other spare room.
This was going to be quite the task as all the TV, computer and anything else he would possibly want to make sure he doesn’t get bored shitless, needed to be shifted across too. Not that that would be a problem.
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New bed was delivered at 08:30 this morning, Care nurses arrived at 09:00 to do the usual washing then shift him into said new, very comfy, much suited to his needs bed. Perfect… errr no.
Within two hours Dad was cold being in the bigger room. Fair call to the old bugger, the bigger bedroom was a tadge nippy considering what he’s been used to. So a whole day pretty much of me trying my damndest to get the room either insulated enough, getting rid of draughts, which were not actually there and then him pretty much chucking a complete strop because he was actually just bored in there without his TV (which I was going to do in one huge shift tomorrow when I had collected tools, drill and all the other bits needed from home to get it done as quick as possible in one fail swoop.)
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Evidently there were quite a few heated discussions today as to the bain of my life of late – the bloody room thermostat located in the hall downstairs. According to Dad Mother just cant seem to leave the fucking thing alone and he either freezes his nads off or roasts like a proverbial chicken.
So this afternoon we did some "control tests", yes dad was still in the bigger room and still cold, so to counteract this we wheeled said dogs bollocks hospital bed closer to the radiator. That did seem to work for a while, then after setting the thermostat to what ’he’ wanted it set to we then went downstairs to leave him to it whilst the room adjusted to the 20 degrees he had requested. Every 15 mins I was going back up to see if he was ok and not getting cold whilst the room was getting to (really obviously) cold again. Not once did he say he was getting cold so finally gave up and said I was coming home…. Just as he decided that he didn’t want to be in the bigger room full stop and another plan has been decided where we will clear out lots of stuff in the smaller room like computer desk etc so the big bed can go in there. He wont be able to see the TV very well, the computer probably wont go back in for ages but by Christ he will sweat his bollocks off in that room.
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And what really finished me off this evening and had me laughing like an escaped mental patient? ? ?
The local GP who saw Dad yesterday prescribed him various painkillers if needed to make sure he was comfortable. Nothing exciting about that apart from all of them come in a soluble form, because being a muscle wasting thing he has got he struggles to swallow and tablets just, well ’get stuck’
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Mumsie collected the prescription, went to the local chemist and the bloody doctor hadn’t specified soluble - so she was given sodding tablets. This wouldn’t have been quite so bad had mumsie (who has had this problem MANY times before) checked the bag before she left the chemist. So I drive her back again and the awkward chemist wouldn’t swap them, so mumsie who is obviously getting a tadge tired and titchy now bless her said "well he cant take them so you might as well bloody keep them" and stomped off lmao…
So today I rang the GP surgery. They did the usual "he will ring after surgery as we are very busy" type shit which, I’ll give him his due, he did BEFORE the chemists had closed for the Bank Holiday W/E… makes a fucking change.
I whiz off once again, collect the new prescription from the doctors and toddle off to a different chemist – so dad now has his SOLUBLE tablets. Thank fuck for that.
By Christ am I glad to be home tonight!
Don’t get me wrong, I realise dad is still very ill but today I think you can safely say his life force is fighting fit and as cantankerous as it ever was before he was ever ill the old sod!
Early night for me? I should say so!
 | Currently listening: One Step Beyond... By Madness Release date: 05 June, 2000 |
drained
So my week of hell seems to be calming down again now. Dad has ’come to’ enough it seems to be able to come home again. Ok, so he will be getting oxygen from tomorrow thanks to the doctor and still really weak but home where he wants to be.
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Yep he came home this afternoon has been set up in his bed for now but is going to be supplied with a proper adjustable one, with all the other trimmings he will need – walking frame etc. Fingers crossed we now have all we need and the nurses coming in twice a day to keep a check on him and hopefully, once the social services get involved we will have carers coming in too.
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So last night I slept in my own bed again for the first time in 4 nights. That was very much needed and tonight I am staying here at mum & dads with all the rest of the family so as to make sure dads comfy and happy and… well, still with us.
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So I am exhaused and about to spend another night on the floor – or if I am lucky maybe a sofa! Hoorah! And just to celebrate Dad coming home to… well not be very well for a while then probably pop his clogs but as he wished… at home a glass of champers together. Good news is the moment he was coming home he started eating again…
I am home again, the family have rallied round to make sure that Dad is covered at the hospital so I could go into
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Dad is still the same, gaining more normality when he is awake now but also still not eating or drinking bugger all. Daft in a way as it proves where exactly I get my attitude from to be honest.
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However it’s no good, I had to come home for another soak in the bath then stay here for some proper sleep.
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Will update when next home again.
Thanks for all the well wishes from peeps, very much appreciated and needed right now.
sad I wasn’t going to write anything today, mainly because this is the first time since Thursday I have been home for any longer than ½ an hour but seeing as I am, and should be sleeping decided it would do me more good to do this instead. Getting it all out and all that guff.
Firstly, thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes. In a daft kind of a way those have been the best thing that’s happened to me in the last few days. Every single one of them has helped through the most cunt of a time in my life.
The reason for this is Dad. Tuesday he was taken into hospital for tests much do his disgust and my mother who was somewhat distraught. Not that this was a major problem, he went in, we were expecting the worst – to be told he had lung cancer or something much similar. Nope, not quite.
After all the tests it brings to light that the form of muscular dystrophy he has had pretty much all of his life which has pretty much reduced him to a bed ridden skeleton has just taken hold of that one muscle which will end up killing him. Seems the right side of his heart has already pretty much packed up and he’s running on only 2 cylinders instead of 4.
Ok so this wasn’t the best of news but he was still quite with it then and relatively chipper considering he didn’t want to go into hospital because people normally go in but don’t come out again. So Mum & I stayed with him until we were kicked out the first night, went up the second night for visiting hours (kicked out again) Thursday though was a different kettle of fish. I telephoned in the morning to see how he was getting on and if they had managed to get him into a proper ward, which they had but the nurse was going on about talk of social services and a nursing home. OK so that wasn’t quite right. I went straight from work collected mum and we went up again.
He had taken such a bad turn, completely out of it, he scared the crap out of the both of us I can tell you. The doctor had given him hours to live.
Family was called and by 3am Friday morning we were all there, scared shitless and not really knowing what to do apart from be there for each other.
That was my birthday, and the thought of losing him on that day wasn’t the nicest thing that was whizzing round my very tired head.
So imagine our surprise when in the early hours of Friday morning – he wakes up, announces he needs a crap and seems as right as rain apart from the usual being weak and tired..
So that pretty much how its been since then, we’ve been taking it in shifts to make sure we all stay with him which has confused him slightly as he hasn’t quite figured why every time he does wake up day or night we are there.
So this is the first time I’ve been home for any amount of time. A whole hour so far and its going to be spent with me having a long soak in the bath, a bloody good cry and hopefully a couple of hour sleep before I go back again.
So apologies to all for being quiet but I think you can see why I might not be about for a while.
surprised I'm rising to the challenge to raise money for Sport Relief!
(YES ME!)
I'm getting involved because Sport Relief is all about using everything that's good about sport to change lives for the better. All the money raised is spent by Comic Relief to help people living really tough lives at home in the
I'd really appreciate your support by sponsoring me to take part. If you'd like to make a secure online donation, you can use your credit card by clicking on the link below:
http://www.mysportrelief.com/whyonearth?SID=41842
To find out what a difference your sponsorship money can make, please visit http://www.sportrelief.com.
Thank you for your generous support!
And here's a bit 'actually' from me:
Now how often is it I actually get off my arse and do something?
Go on, even if its chuff all, think of it like this:
Me, running 1 mile should be just enough to kill me off.
I'd say that was a bargain !!!
Thanks
The arse
Normal Blog will resume after this post J
 | Currently listening: Oh My God By Mark Featuring Lily Allen Ronson Release date: 18 September, 2007 |
bouncy This morning, so far has been perfect. I woke at about 7:30 and have managed to make a start on the washing and cook myself some pancakes & bacon with maple syrup…
bunterdom here I come!
So on the giving up the fag's saga:
Arse 1 – Smoking 0
Yep, it's now been over a week and I am actually quite proud of myself for not even having one sneaky one.
(I would have normally by now if I am really honest)
This however has brought on this whole concern about the fact that when I give up the fags I will bloat up quicker than a penguin with an air hose shoved down its throat.
My weight through life has been a funny old thing.
As a kid I ate nothing but cornflakes which was to the disgust and efforts from my parents. So I was pretty much skinny as a rake.
Then at 16 when I started work I also started seeing someone who was a good cook, bad choice that one. 2 years later seeing him I have an arse and thighs of which chairs groaned under the strain. Hmmm not good.
Ok so gave up on him, and went down again a bit and managed to maintain a sort of not skinny but not fucking huge either until about 99' when for some reason I did manage to go down to a smaller size again.
Roll on 2003 and then comes another good cook (yes there were others in between but nothing which would bunter me up)
So once again I porked up good and proper – in fact even more so this time and spent another good 2 years lolling about like a seal pup.
Then the usual, hoof him out and the weight dropped right back down to not exactly Kate Moss but certainly no where near Oprah on a bad day/week/month/year.
Since then I think you can safely say I stayed at a constant size 12, bordering on 14 dress size.
Then came the new job in 2007 and there's nowt like a good old physical job to help the weigh fall off. It did and I am now right back down to a size 10 and haven't shifted in ages.
So the fact that I could chunk up did concern me quite a bit, even to the extent I have been cycling at least 8 miles a day since Tuesday, which considering I hate exercising at least it isn't costing me any money so even I can cope with that!!
Only one downside – sore arse? I should say so.
But I am looking forward to my much toned thighs and buns of steel which will appear after a while.
Fucking great, my arse will look like a 'toned' 10 year old boy's then…
Pah.
 | Currently listening: Bossanova By Pixies Release date: 20 May, 2003 |
worried Oh dear god is this getting so funny now. I am going to have to start blogging about the dreams I am having thanks to these bloody tablets, as even though they are getting weirder by the night they are making me laugh and i am remembering them so much more now for some strange reason.
Ok, to help with this one from the other night, I will have to mention for those who were not aware that last week in the
Evidently I didn't know it was actually an earthquake until the next morning when someone else asked if I had seen/heard it.
So, getting back to my dream. I awoke again the other night, witnessing what seemed to be another earthquake. I was actually very excited - thinking that for once I was actually going to see the room shake, or maybe bits of my furniture vibrating across the room. It was at this point I realised I wasn't actually at home but asleep across one of the bench seats in the canteen at work… ok, so yes I have slept there before but at this point in my life it was a bit odd. Then on looking out of the window, it became quite apparent to me – even in my dream that I was actually still asleep. Clarified by the fact the canteen what at this point DRIVING down the road, and I was quite happily watching other properties which had caught fire due to said earthquake as we trundled on by… in a room designed for eating food.
OOOOOOkay then
But last nights did really make me laugh this morning when I really did wake up and come to.
Evidently I had dreamt pretty much all night I had been smoking, and like a bloody train to boot. I woke up this morning feeling very disappointed and annoyed with myself for smoking again. It took me a good ten minutes to actually realise I hadn't been smoking and only dreamt it.
See now this is just taking the piss really. Evil Porno dude moans that as long as I don't have any more mucky James May dreams, but after what I am having at the moment - I could do with a bit of "Captain slow action" for normality's sake!
Oh god, what am I saying?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
 | Currently watching: Scrubs - The Complete Sixth Season Release date: 30 October, 2007 |
drunk When you have such a mentally busy day, all the odd stuff you think would drive you mad doesn't.
Not only did I get off ones arse today and cycle half the journey to work (nothing to be sniffed at here, a good four and a bit miles I'll have you know!) but I got to drive my first 'proper' artic out on the roads of Norwich today;
and to be honest I must have annoyed everyone in the airport industrial estate area this afternoon because with me faffing about trying to reverse this fucking great thing into a right cunt of a drive I managed to completely block the road and piss off many people… for some time – heh heh.
I would say Awww what a shame, but fuck you, I'm still new at this kin' great truck going backwards me-larky, so you can fucking wait!
(Not that you really got a choice in the matter J )
So what else? Yes, its scary but true, I'm STILL not smoking (who would have though!) and just as a treat to ones self I finally admitted to myself that as hard as I try I am not actually 'blonde' and I don't mean in the thick as shit sense because at the moment, thanks to these tablets I am struggling to remember what I have been dreaming or actually said in real life… hmmm…
Getting back to the blonde bit, this evening I have dyed my hair light brown, which, in all honestly looks much more natural, shitloads healthier and also as a good old bonus has covered my nice grey hairs that have started to multiply something chronic!!! Excellent!
Then, I have had two glasses of Red and no food as yet so as pissed as a fart! Yay!
Ok, so quick tea and bed for this one due to needing the energy to cycle in tomorrow as well… Oh its all hard work in the world of arse at the moment… can't see that lasting J
 | Currently listening: Employment By Kaiser Chiefs Release date: 15 March, 2005 |
accomplished Just wanted to say I still haven't had a fag!
woooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
 | Currently listening: A Funk Odyssey By Jamiroquai Release date: 11 September, 2001 |
