Thank you all

Current mood: sad
Category: Life

I wasn’t going to write anything today, mainly because this is the first time since Thursday I have been home for any longer than ½ an hour but seeing as I am, and should be sleeping decided it would do me more good to do this instead. Getting it all out and all that guff.

Firstly, thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes. In a daft kind of a way those have been the best thing that’s happened to me in the last few days. Every single one of them has helped through the most cunt of a time in my life.

The reason for this is Dad. Tuesday he was taken into hospital for tests much do his disgust and my mother who was somewhat distraught. Not that this was a major problem, he went in, we were expecting the worst – to be told he had lung cancer or something much similar. Nope, not quite.

After all the tests it brings to light that the form of muscular dystrophy he has had pretty much all of his life which has pretty much reduced him to a bed ridden skeleton has just taken hold of that one muscle which will end up killing him. Seems the right side of his heart has already pretty much packed up and he’s running on only 2 cylinders instead of 4.

Ok so this wasn’t the best of news but he was still quite with it then and relatively chipper considering he didn’t want to go into hospital because people normally go in but don’t come out again. So Mum & I stayed with him until we were kicked out the first night, went up the second night for visiting hours (kicked out again) Thursday though was a different kettle of fish. I telephoned in the morning to see how he was getting on and if they had managed to get him into a proper ward, which they had but the nurse was going on about talk of social services and a nursing home. OK so that wasn’t quite right. I went straight from work collected mum and we went up again.

He had taken such a bad turn, completely out of it, he scared the crap out of the both of us I can tell you. The doctor had given him hours to live.

Family was called and by 3am Friday morning we were all there, scared shitless and not really knowing what to do apart from be there for each other.

That was my birthday, and the thought of losing him on that day wasn’t the nicest thing that was whizzing round my very tired head.

So imagine our surprise when in the early hours of Friday morning – he wakes up, announces he needs a crap and seems as right as rain apart from the usual being weak and tired..

So that pretty much how its been since then, we’ve been taking it in shifts to make sure we all stay with him which has confused him slightly as he hasn’t quite figured why every time he does wake up day or night we are there.

So this is the first time I’ve been home for any amount of time. A whole hour so far and its going to be spent with me having a long soak in the bath, a bloody good cry and hopefully a couple of hour sleep before I go back again.

So apologies to all for being quiet but I think you can see why I might not be about for a while.