A new sport – Asda rifle range please

Current mood: savage
Category: Life

I am riled to the point of wanting to just scream out loud;

"You bunch of ignorant fucks!"

Yes, I have just done the normal Mumsie Banks shopping trip but unlike most times, whilst she is happily toddling round the store, I sod off to the ice rink with Ty making a complete and utter arse of myself.

This week however I made a very stupid decision. Seeing as I was lacking a few essentials myself that it would be worthy of me going in as well….

For fucks sake, do I never learn?

Nope, obviously not. I was tearing my hair out by the time I got to the checkout and could feel the walls caving in and the people in there like zombies from Shaun of the dead trying to suck the very life out of me. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I was trying to keep calm, bite my tongue until the point where I was desperately trying to get out of the sodding place with a trolley full of stuff and every tosser was getting in my way! NOOOOOOOO!!!

I finally started shouting at the top of my lungs "EXCUSE ME!!!" to get the slightest hint of attention to these dingbats and to get them the fuck out of my way. It must have worked because everyone was looking at me like I was a complete mental case as I tore past them with said trolley.

Oh well, gives me a reason to never go in again I suppose.

£5.99 for delivery? Worth every fucking penny if you ask me. At least that way I only have to deal with one twat. The one driving the bloody truck.

Currently listening: 100th Window By Massive Attack Release date: 11 February, 2003

Candles, ends, both & burning

Current mood: exhausted
Category: Life

Well that will teach me. I am completely buggered (metaphorically) and have every intention this evening to settle ones self in front of new big arse TV in the bedroom and snoring like a train by 20:30 at least. At least I managed to stay awake in the canteen today at lunch which is always a good sign!

It has been a very mentally draining day today. One of the companies we have that service one of the teams vans did their usual right fuck up of getting me to and from vehicle for picking up and the driver they have really does scare the living biscuit out of my with his driving. You could tell it was a bad day as by 5 when I left off the first thing I had to do was sit in the canteen and have a 'chilling' cup of tea before coming home. (And promptly nearly fell asleep – pah)

Then just too really annoy me, I managed to figure out which car would take over from the crowing glory of the Nissan micras ability to drive like a twat and not be aware of anyone else on the road. It's the Kia Picanto – Pigcantbloodydrive more like.

Have these people been on another planet when they take their driving tests? Who knows, all I know is on of these days when I'm hossing about in the 21t truck from work I will just squish one to see if it is in fact made of recycled soup cans.

So on that angry note… bed looms

(alone I would like to point out)

Currently watching: Bill Bailey: The Classic Collection (Cosmic Jam, Bewilderness and Part Troll)

Contrary to popular belief

Current mood: accomplished
Category: Life

>

No, I am not being impersonated or indeed pregnant

(Thanks for that boy fruity)

No, I have, in fact managed to get myself into a life style as such where I really don't give a monkeys fuck what other people think about me or how I lead my life and do you know what? It's been bloody fantastic!

I have spent the last couple of weeks having the best sex of my life, mostly because the other person in question, I don't want and on the other side he doesn't want me either it is just a mutial exchange of bodily fluids… and by Christ is it.

Then you must realise that by being in a job which to be honest isn't the greatest of pay but I just bloody love doing has had me on what can only be described as a life high as well. Ok so maybe I'm not what could be described as you standard girly and to be honest if I was in any way shape or form anything like that I would be so mortified.

So from now on, you can call me tart, slapper, trout, hoar anything you like as I don't care as I'm getting plenty ;)

As for the Mcdonalds fetish… thinking about starting a support group about that as its very concerning.

"McAddicted to shit group" coming soon.

Currently listening: A Good Idea By Sugar Release date: 05 October, 1992

I’m sorry? What did you say?

Current mood: chipper
Category: Life

Where the bleeding hell has this week gone? Don't get me wrong it's been a VERY VERY VERY VERY good week but it's whizzed over my head so fast it parted my hair and I'm not having that!

So, ( ß just for you that one, DR) a week of romping about like a complete twat, running about like an idiot, progressively getting addicted to McDonalds sausage and egg McChuffin meals to boot. It's weird, freaky and "I'm lovin' it"

For once I am being a good girl and not going to get too drunk tonight, yeah right, it's only 7PM and you just know that wont last. However I have cooked myself some tea already and intend on settling ones arse into the sofa for some serious telly watching this evening. Haven't decided if it will be a DVD or not as yet but I'm sure the crap on TV will decide that quick smart.

So signing off now for the first night of rest in ages…

I love being a tart sometimes.

Currently reading: Humble Pie By Gordon Ramsay Release date: 2006

Friday’s are evil

Current mood: optimistic
Category: Life

Is there some rule of thumb I am unaware of that states that Fridays just have to go tits up? No other day of the week seems to have quite the same effect it must be said but this one just gone did an ocean going fur lined fuck up of a day.

If anything could have gone pear, it did then escalated into an even bigger trauma and everyone was just ganging up on me in the end with yet more shit. I was very much on the verge of just saying "fuck you all, I'm off down the pub!"

I didn't thank fuck and ended up feeling a load better after a very severe exercise session when I got home to pound it out of my system ;)

Then we get onto today's human slave labour factor at mumsie banks abode. Yes, I have been the dutiful daughter today not only spending most of the day up a kin' long ladder cleaning out the gutters, then cleaning the outsides of it as well seeing as they were green (and supposed to be white) but then spent the rest of the day fitting up cctv cameras for her as well. The trade off on this is she's having the dog for me this evening so I can go out and be a mucky little tart…

sounds like a bloody good deal to me!

Currently listening: Ring of Fire: The Best of Johnny Cash By Johnny Cash Release date: 07 February, 1995