Home again and all's well.

It's taken some time to get back into the 'swing of things' since returning home Saturday.

Not really having paid attention to the computer since my return am, awash with emails I need to deal with, have mad uncle still in the country needing to go shopping today and once again my home has been invaded by the "stoned gremlin" who comes in, chills right down then sprays every room with mess, like dirty plates, frying pans, crisps & sweeties in every direction. This can be dealt with later as I just don't have the energy of inclination to sort it all out right now.

So Christmas at big sisters was great, the biggest surprise being 'his nib's turning up out of the blue Boxing day which I was hoping for but didn't really expect. Made my Christmas that :)

Also a couple of 'incidents' of which one being my brother in law having a bit of a bad turn due to cake and as described by 'nibs' "proper stoned that boy" Pretty sure it annoyed sister as she didn't have too much and gave us giggling gits still downstairs very dirty looks whilst she was up to him in bed pandering to his every whim when in fact he just had a bit too much. Well hopefully he will realise he does have limits then.
Then just to top it off, the Saturday just before we left brother in law decided to burn some music off his iTunes for uncle Marmite so to save fucking about Marmite and I decided it would be quicker to just copy the whole directory onto my hard drive so he could pick and choose what he wanted. Brother in law went a bit loopy at this point, chucking a right flid of which both uncle and I found highly amusing even though we did stop to make sure he didn't just pop right there and then.

At this point I did explain that they could have a complete copy of my iTunes as well which dioes actually have more on it but alas the damage was done and once again we went back to wasting his disks burning stuff instead. He must have felt bad for reacting like that as apologised as we were getting in the car to leave which just made me laugh even more as I hadn't realised just how much he had flipped his lid.

Then there was The fact that saturday was Dief's 11th birthday and the poor little bugger spent most of it in the car coming home... not to worry, she got a nice big dinner when we did get there and by christ is that wee daeg knackered!

So Sunday seeing as Marmite (staying at Mothers) demanded once again another turkey 'Christmas' dinner decided that seeing as 'nib's never got to actually have a turkey roast at his waifes and strays crimbo could partake as well. We toddled round, ate, played poker then came home again ready to spend the rest of the day in bed waiting for Top Gear to appear on the telly. A nice chilled day all told.

So today, like an idiot I have awoken when nibs went to work (04:16) couldn't get back to sleep and have been updating ones life online... and now need to get arse into gear to take the family into the city for a bit of a shop.... remembering at some point to come home and clean up after the attack of the gremlin... looks like a shit tip.

Now that's just not fair...

I will always admit it and Widge can hold testimony to this that I am when it boils down to it quite a light weight.

I like my bed & sleep and when body decides enough is enough, nothing apart from electric shock therapy will keep me awake.

So imagine my utter delight (not) when my Mother and Uncle have both toddled off upstairs for a bloody nap at 7:30 pm - That's just bloody wrong that.

Ok so maybe it could be due to a certain amount of cake which has been polished off now but even so? This early?

Hmmmm might just have to sulk for a bit :P

The day of merry

All in all, the christmas experience here at Horsley Hall so far has been wonderful.

We all had the ritual breakfast before opening pressies (if nothing else to irritate Mumsie Banks who has now regressed back to around aged 10 wanting to open them at midnight bless her)
The pressie opening was fun. Only problem was we did it in the front living room of which my somewhat daft black labrador with her irrational fear of wooden floors these days thanks to Mr rasberry did need a bit of encouragement and a rather superhuman Mum picking her up and carrying her through - which has it seems twinged my back slightly... bugger.

All pressies were grand, thanks to the complete credit crunching family members of which many were personalised 'creative' gifts one being a calendar made by big sis with loads of family photos of which I will treasure through the year.

So now we come to my 'peaceful' time of the day. The hoard have all toddled off to have a nice long walk in the countryside with Moose my sisters dog and me being a tired shit who really doesn't 'do' walking and my soppy balck lab who has so many painful bits ends up hurting more are here in a wonderfully quite house with time to just sit back and reflect on how nice it's been so far.

I have enjoyed a nice cup of tea, and confess I have just stuffed a weeny bit of cake and now whilst keeping an eye on the turkey in the oven have sat here and had a little think about stuff before they all come back.

Yep, first Christmas without Dad has been slightly sad but we did bring him down here in his tub, have slapped a santa hat on him and he's sitting pride of place next to the tree. He awlays loved christmas so couldn't do all this witout him here as mad as it may sound!
I think he would have liked to have done this here but alas was never to be.

Then there is 'his nib's' who couldn't make it here due to work, who is having a "waifes and strays" christmas at his. Turkey curry all round (apart from the veggies of course) and hopefully he will enjoy his christmas too...

So yes, I miss Dad, I also miss 'nib's' and the clan have just returned so time to start drinking again me thinks!

Hope you all have a fantastic Christmas whoever, wherever you are and always remember...

Squirrels are for life, not just for christmas

Don't you just love cake ;P

Oh, here we go.....

Ladies and Gentlemen.....

I would like to welcome you all to the beginning of the "THE HOLIDAYS"
*insert evil Vincent Price laugh here*

No, only joking :)

Actually so far it's been pretty good. The trip to pick up relatives at Luton Airport on the way to Oxfordshire went very well, apart from my ability to be full of snot and sneezing at the most inopportune moment of approaching some bends in the road when it is dark. I was however fully in control, I don't think the other occupants of the car agree as I'm sure I saw one hanging on for dear life to the door handle - heh heh.

We are already "one man down" which is a bastard. Marmite's other half has come down with a lurgy also and wasn't up to travelling over which even though disappointing gave me a mini sigh of relief due to just how little room there was in the car even with new roof box after Mumsie Banks had packed everything not nailed down in Norwich.

So after a long old drive - Norwich Via Luton then onto Banbury we arrive just before 11pm, somewhat tired and dishevelled granted but fantastic to see Horsley's again and Db very pleased to see cousin Moose too bless'em.

So now after knowing I had a long day yesterday, went to bed after midnight (don't look so shocked Widge, I was driving so had to stay awake lol) What on earth is wrong with this picture? I am up at 07:30... actually I awoke at 6.

I can only put it down to the heating kicking in here and being set to "furnace from hell"
Lets just say that being in one of the top two rooms and the fact the radiator was set to "scald" it's no surprise I woke up. So I've dutifully been down to let Dief out for a wee, popped out myself for a fag come back up to bed so as not to wake everyone else up taken a couple of sudafed for my snotty situation and fished laptop out of the rucksack for a bit of a smurf, oh that and turned the fucking radiator off in this room!

But alas now once again I need to get up... for sodding water. Typical.
Not to worry can have another fag whilst down there :P

It's life Jim, but not as we know it....

I'm kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place at this very moment. Also judging by the time and how awake I am right now I can only assume I am in fact harbouring some sort of lurgy which is indeed now starting to manifest out of said body instead of being all in and hidden away...

The predicament I have is I have a 'nib's' asleep in bed and doing a 5am start who's phone rang half an hour ago with a wrong number, of which if it hadn't woken me probably would not have been a problem.
Then I have Widge, asleep in the living room staying for the weekend but going home today of which has been fun...

The problem lies in the fact that I woke up running a temperature. Sweat running off me, have been to the loo, escaped into the spare room with cold wet flannel round my neck desperately trying to cool myself down. Under normal circumstances in these situations so as not to disturb 'nibs' would have toddled off to kip in the living room where I could let myself freeze ones tits off to my hearts delight but with company am predominantly scuppered.

So here I sit, on the computer, now having a sneezing fit to boot, boiling hot and thinking I could really do with going and sitting outside in the garden for ten minutes to cool down and that's just not right.

How will I overcome this weeny trauma?

Fucked if I know but will make for an interesting time travelling down to big sisters for Christmas Tuesday if I am now full of lurgy. NOT.

Oh well, will give me something different to moan about for a change!

That makes a refreshing change...

Isn't it nice when things actually give you that fluffy feeling of "ohhh yes" at the end of the day.

Today, in the bitterly cold, I dragged my skinny arse out into the back garden with all the surveying kit to test it all out, make sure it was still working and within tolerance levels.

That was not my biggest concern, it was quite a large one seeing as I am off to do a minor 'consultancy' job tomorrow but not the biggest worry... that actually was;

I haven't done this shit in about two years, would I even remember how the fuck to do it?

Evidently I surprised myself and it all came flooding back. Checked everything and all is well in the world of kit, just need to make sure in future I actually charge up all the batteries first next time... twat.

So now I can sit back, chill and await the return of 'nibs' who has been having the worst day bless him. Will get the whole tale of woe when he gets in.

Thinking I might just have a vodka this evening as well...

yummy

Fuck me it's Wednesday already!

Where the chuffing hell has this week gone? Has one of you crafty little buggers stolen it?

Either way it's been quite a good one. Mondays peaceful evening turned out to be me knackered and having an early night, after a day of running around like a complete loon for Mumsie Banks and her amazing addiction to CCTV systems and acquiring TV's & videos via freecycle.
I have finally bitten the bullet and actually told her off now stating it's really started to be obsessive and ridiculous. That then turned into a phone call of abuse, dragging up stuff which really shouldn't have been mentioned by herself and me pretty much fuming for 24 hours.

I was on Tuesday going to have a little chat reference this, making sure she really should stop and think about what is about to spill from her mouth sometimes as she can really be quite hurtful but after going round there to drop dog off before toddling off to the job centre figured I would just be wasting my breath and didn't bother.

Talking of job centre - this was my penultimate week and to say I really don't have to try too hard is great. Oddly I do still have to job search for anything temporary, however on explaining that no one really wants to take someone on for two weeks of which when they do a job search on the system it also comes up with nowt then it pretty much clarified it for me. So just filling in my little book that I am looking and that seems to suffice. (Or as the lass put it 'going through the motions')

The fact there is only one week left is grand. Boost's ones level of confidence I can tell you.

So today I need to get in the garden, check all my kit over and pretty much sort myself out for a little jaunt to Swaffham tomorrow. Nothing exciting just in an advisory capacity - then ready for the next arrival of Widge for a weekend of which I can't wait.

:)

Entertainment at it's best

I wasn't really in tip top enough condition yesterday to warrent a decent enough blog - pretty much due to alcohol and the fact that I was rather stoned. Now I talk utter bollocks when all A1 so didn't want to put you all through the hell of having to put up with my waffeling when somewhat off my tits.
When in truth, I didn't get on the computer because I couldn't remember my password, or my name for that matter :P

So Saturday night was fun. Meeting up with Mark & Nicky earlier managed to get sufficiently drunk before arriving for the meal just down the road also having been a weeny bit "caked" before we left really did set the mood for the evening.

Obviously the evil woman was making a point of 'trying to look polite' in front of the whole audience by digging me in the ribs and saying hello just after we arrived, she did however completely ignore 'his nibs' I was polite, said hi, how are you? in return... oddly got no answer. There were enough people there to allow for her to sit as far a physically possible from us, so we made sure we sat right in the middle of the 'L' shaped table so as to annoy.

The food was 'interesting' no, actually in all honestly it was rubbish and pretty much everyone agreed. But there were two highlights of the evening for me. One of which being, on two occasions when I went out for a fag I was followed outside by snippets of drivers who were asking why I left, seems she didn't share that little snippet of info with everyone then...

But the classic of the evening was at 9pm when she popped upstairs into the main pub from the eating area and came back down with a bloke. Don't get me wrong, he probably could be a very nice looking guy but judging by the state of his face had recently been in a bit of a scuffle and hadn't faired too well. She then proceeded to sit this guy down at her end of the table, sit on his lap and pretty much slobber over him for god knows how long. This was quite amusing to me and Nicky sitting there chatting, Nicky had mentioned something about 'letting standards slip' and I'd answered with something like "well you've got to expect the boy to slum it once in a while" - we promptly sat there wetting ourselves for ages...

But then came the funniest bit of news I had heard in a long time whilst outside having another fag.... I was informed that this chap was in fact someone she had met online on facebook... this was their first meeting... oh dear god did I laugh.

On that note 'nib's' and I toddled off home.

Great night :P

Cat amongst the pigeons? I should say so...

Sometimes I am very mean. I really do have quite a gift of being able to wind people up in the subtlest of ways sometimes which is second to none. Today's antic will be no exception.

Remember months back I was moaning about the logistics company I ended up leaving, because of in particular the boss woman who was a complete cow? Well I'm thinking today that she might just shit herself good and proper.

Bearing in mind 'his nibs' still works for them (and technically her) and the fact that since I left she has really tried her hardest to make his life a bloody misery, he was intrigued by the usual talk of their Christmas meal as organised by 'Ms Bitch'.

So knowing what a complete sod it would be he's invited me... and told her so. How funny is this going to be?

I'm guessing news travels fast still round the drivers because all of them had asked in passing to 'nibs' as to if it was true and of course being him he is quite honest.
Especially seeing as since the bitch woman from hell has been aware of my attendance she has decided to announce that at 9pm she has another "prior engagement" she will have to attend and leave. My arse, she just knows that she's in the wrong and possibly just cacking it.

The best part? I really don't have any malice towards this woman now, that was the past, it's all done dusted and I for one have no intention of talking shop to anyone there as it's a night for merriment, laughs and general enjoyment. Not work stuff or arguments.

But I'm guessing she is under the impression that I am going to make her evening hell. But knowing it will annoy her more, will be polite, courteous and friendly just to see how quickly she will crack....

I sure as shit will enjoy it, as I haven't seen any of the other drivers since I left and they really are a great bunch of lads and it will be fantastic to see them all again.

Roll on tonight.... heh heh.

Aaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnd relax.

Kin' hell. I am so looking forward to actually sitting down and having a rest tonight.

Being the crafty sod that I am, 'nib's' is at his home tonight, daft labrador is all fed up and pretty much snoring her head off already, and all an sundry needed doing today was completed an hour ago... hooo fucking rah!

Which now means I can sit back, pour myself a vodka and generally enjoy a night of peace, quiet and shit telly. Lovely!

Not a bad day today if not hectic. Lots of ebay stuff to post which in true "Heidi stylie" I managed to once again create a mahussive queue with how long I was in there - (heh heh, revenge that!)

Then just needed to get some stuff to the local tip for Mumsie Banks - (this was stuff they wouldn't take in the skip I might add) and finally get the latest copy of "combat and survival" magazine for boy scout of which is technically a crimbo pressie as Mumsie has bought him a subscription to it for a year.

Other than that, Christmas cards were all posted today - brace yourselves people... incoming! The final of the pressies I needed to get are now bought, wrapped and ready to go... and bugger me have I managed to catch up with my sister as to getting her and her hubby's pressie sorted as well? ohhh yes. Get in!

So now the brain is frazzled, the body is tired and very much in need of a good old fashioned "sit on your arse and do fuck all" night.

Perfect :)

I am in shock....

Considering it's only 2pm:

The shed is done,
The skip has been filled and taken away already,
I have packed up all the ebay shit finishing tonight ready to post tomorrow,
The Futon from my spare room which I have sold (oddly to someone who cannot collect themselves) is in the car ready to deliver tomorrow as well.
And the washing mound has been started.

So now all I have to do this afternoon is have a soak in the bath (yes, still aching like a git) might have a snack then get ready for a call from my big sister.

To say I'm knackered is an understatement, however I do feel very accomplished and proud of myself knowing as unfit, falling to bits that I can still 'do it'.

Hmmm wondering if I should have a nap this afternoon like the old fart that I really am...or should be...

The thought was good but I am after all an idiot...

Knowing I had a shitload of new kit and equipment for the new job screaming at me from inside the house and taking up room, I decided enough was enough and ordered some 'dogs bollocks' shelving/ racking to store said stuff in the shed.
These arrived Tuesday when I was out and on returning just after noon like a complete and utter numpty I donned work boots and made a start on emptying the shed to stick the new stuff in to allow me to store everything in there as a shed come workshop specific for work kit. A good theory but I am paying for it now.

By the time 'nibs' got home the shed was virtually empty the new racking was going up and in and knowing he had been at work since 3am, sent him indoors to relax.
By 5pm it had hailed, rained and pretty much anything else nasty weather wise all over anything sitting outside. I finally slapped everything back in needing to be secured and gave up. My back was a little bit sore from lifting & moving shite about but nothing a bath and bed wouldn't sort.
Then yesterday, knowing it was still not exactly sorted as I wanted it in there went out again reshuffled to a state that was useful, manageable and was quite ruthless in actually deciding what was staying in there and what was going.
Only bad point there was before I went out and did all that, sat here checking my email as per usual and I had the worst muscle spasm from right between my shoulder blades right round under my arms to under my boobs... ouch! Wound a couple of painkillers into me then went out and completed the shed sort.

After completing that in the afternoon, back was still a bit 'twingie' but nothing major so came in and decided to bite the bullet and order a skip for today to get rid of all the crap I have now sitting out in my garden.

Considering 'nibs' is still on 3am starts, he tends to go to bed by 8pm, and me normally being a lazy twat tend to join him. And, as a rule I fall asleep as well, see him go off at 02:30, go back to bed and sleep through till about 06:30.
Not last night. He dozed off, snoring like a train :) - I watched a couple of hours of TV. Then realising I wasn't going to be able to sleep just yet and I was fidgeting like a good'un, so didn't want to wake him, got up went into the living room, straightened my hair, had a fag, watched a bit more TV, poked the fire about a bit then I'm guessing I must have fallen asleep on the sofa at around midnight.

So now I have been awake since 5am (probably due to I normally get too much bloody sleep!) I am dressed and already dosed up with painkillers to allow me to actually move today and fill up the skip that's coming.

So what else could go wrong? Well just in case the back pain and aching joints were not enough, my sodding monthlies just kicked in as well. Something is out to kill me off I am sure!
Oh well, hopefully the painkillers will deal with that as well!

Hanging in there - falling to bits but still smiling even if there are a few "ohhh owwww's" in between!

And just in case you thought that was all a bit too emotional...

... and would like to hear something funny:

I am currently selling a broken... yes BROKEN TV on ebay and someone's bid on it...

How funny is that!

A year in thought.

Tali will recognise this... we have done it quite often over the years but in varying formats depending on whatever web page we are currently playing on at the time...


Ok, so the year isn't quite over yet but after the weekend I have just had wanted to bring it forward slightly if nothing else so I don't forget to post something! Also it's give me the chance to get the final moans about the year out of my system and 'fingers crossed' stop me bitching about it.

As you will know, most of 2008 has been utter pants for me. Which is rather annoying but these things happen and life does go on.
Granted most of it has been because of the loss of Dad back in March but with that brought famine, drought, mass carnage and generally the worst I have ever felt in my life. Hmmm, OK maybe not quite as many things as that but you get the drift, it was really fucking shite.

However I will say it has also brought out something in me I never thought I had that much of, an inner strength that can never be defeated. Yes, people who actually know me are aware of my 'outside persona' to the world of being all confident, the big I am, right smart arse and generally rather opinionated which, handy as it is, like most people is a complete and utter load of tosh. The real me, which some of you do get to see on rare occasions is quite quiet, doesn't like too much fuss and could really do with slightly less aggravation in my life to be honest.

Looking back, I really am quite surprised that over the past 9 months I haven't completely flipped my lid. Granted, felt quite close but didn't completely lose it with dramatic style, stripping off and running round Sainsbury's like a loon shouting some random gibberish.

This I can only put down to some people in my life who for one; accept me for who I am, two; understand that I do try my hardest but sometimes need to accept that however hard I try you just cant win. Three; Help me through what are the worst times, not necessarily by being close by but by just the kindest words, just when you need them. For this I am so thankful and this year you don't know just how much I appreciate that.

Obviously there are those who are close by, namely my family, who I have come to love that much more during this time. (yes sometimes they can still annoy the living biscuit out of me but then I probably drive them round the bend in return also)
Then there is 'his nibs' who actually finally admitted to me yesterday that we are in fact in a relationship, which was nice. He's really been a rock for me during the shit fight months and for that Thank you. Your a star.
But then there are my other friends. Some are local, know me very well (enough to know that you keep your distance on occasion) but just keep informed of how insane you currently are and advise accordingly... Thanks Ty.
Friends who live a bit further out who surprise you just as to how much they do care with the smallest sentiment such as a 'nun-chuck' right when you need it and superb company when toddling off to a car show miles away... Thanks Widge.
Friends who live fucking thousands of miles away but still take the time out of their busy music filled schedule to make sure you are in fact still the daft bat who get's drunk & climbs trees in the middle of a Texas town just to get some sodding Mardi Gras beads...Thanks Tali.

Also the friends all over the world, some of which I have met, some I haven't who even though they might not actually realise it but with their small effort of just keeping in contact and checking to see how I have been doing, really has stopped me turning into a complete parsnip.

This is exactly why I like this world. You meet fantastic people who you never expect could turn out to be the most wonderful friends and wherever they are, they are there for you. Can't go wrong with that.

Thankful? I should say so. I probably would be here if it wasn't for all of you (meaning in the sense that I could have been locked up somewhere with padded walls drooling)

You all mean the world to me, however you have been in contact and may it go on for many years without any of you feeling the urge to stick a double-barrelled shotgun up my arse for being such a whiny arsed shit on occasion.

Thank you all, I might not say it often but when I do, I tend to go on a bit.

A day of sorting out tat....

I utilised the fact that the house was clean today and spent the day on the computer - no, not playing poker, but actually sorting out my outlook contacts including updating them to my phone, sorting through old survey files that can be ditched and generally filing shite of which I should have done a long time ago.

I certainly feel better for having done it but it does have a down side. Mainly because I have been sitting on my arse all days my legs are aching, then I have a screaming headache now due to far too many fags and also looking at a screen to long.

Good thing is 'his nibs' is staying round his tonight, so if nothing else after I have done this little drivel of bollocks I can go snuggle ones arse up in bed with daft labrador, slap the TV on sleep timer and within 15 mins, snoring like a train.

All I need to do tomorrow is check all my kit works I suppose!

Nighty night all.

Kin' wars.... it's getting better....

Latest update:
Bungalow is now spotless, all washing done apart from a few pair of pants needing to be put away, rubbish is outside the front door ready to go in the bins (going to wait for the rain to stop before I attempt that one) and I had a rather funny phone call....

Bearing in mind my little rant the other day reference the piss poor appointment problem at the job centre the other week. As I put in a complaint, in the proper format and as annoyed as I was it was very polite as well, this poor girl rang me today with regards to it.

I don't do ranting on the phone to people because 1, it never gets you anywhere, 2, you never really feel any better for it and chances are the fucker will hang up on you the moment you even mutter a hint of calling them a cunt :)

So, trying to resolve the issue, I had in my complaint said I would like reimbursement for my time wasted and extra parking fees gained due to their incompetence. I didn't really expect to get chuff all but maybe an apology if I was lucky but she has surprised me. Nothing for time of course but they are going to refund me my parking tickets when I next go in Tuesday... bwahahahahahahaha.

So now the house is clean, I have just sunk yet another cup of tea (had a few too many today me thinks) still uploading his CD's as I go and now going to have a soak in the bath then relax for the rest of the day and probably make some really useless lists for me to get my arse into gear for going back to work again.

Hoorah :)

Well bugger me.

Evidently the whole kit and kaboodle of shit I have been through this year will 'ironically' end on January 1st 2009.

As of next year I will be officially working for a surveying company, doing the one thing that over the years of my expansive and random past I did for the longest of 7 years. And the only reason I left because they took the piss without me doing surveying so much and other tat instead.

Granted it's only starting out doing two guaranteed days a week but that's enough to stop me having to claim job seekers allowance and any work I bring into the company should make up the difference (of which people seem to be throwing at me currently!)

So yesterday I was, it must be said, somewhat chuffed and finally starting to feel that not everything was as bad as it had currently seeming to be.

So chuffed in fact, today I got up when 'his nibs' went to work (05:30 start) and have progressed to completely annoy my neighbours but slapping on the dishwasher, cleaning the kitchen, worked my way through the living room (whilst also starting up the wood burner as it's blowing a bleedin' hoolie out there) since then attached the new filter box to the incoming BT box to see if that will allow my new fax machine to work without knocking out the broadband and now currently half way through sorting out my spare room / office so as to make it 'work from homeable" Granted I have just stopped for a quick cup of tea as in all fairness I am knackered!

So now, tea has been gutsed, I am also uploading all of 'nib's' cd's onto his laptop so he can sell them and I am considering what is next.

Hmmm might just pop into the loft and find up all my surveying books :)

Life is good.... and about fucking time too if you ask me.

My head hurts

It's been a funny ole' week. It's been quite busy as things go, driving 100 miles to a site to quote for a surveying job, ordering expensive bits for equipment that doesnt even belong to me and generally spending today catching up on all my paperwork to ready me for tomorrows brain drain at the DWP again.

I think you can safely say that over the weekend I decided enough was enough and had enough cake Friday Night & Saturday to knock me for six and render me useless right up until 3pm Sunday when I needed to go out and visit someone I haven't seen for a long time (Bad Heidi)

So here's how the land is lying of late: well if I can make sense of it anyways.
It's looking like I might just be setting myself up as a land surveyor again, this time however with the benefits of working for an existing company in Norwich. With me helping him bringing in work and any work he doesn't want to do it could work out rather well.
And just in case that doesn't pan out I've also still been applying for other stuff too.

I would say I am feeling very chipper about it all but currently I have a house absolutely full of crap, of which I really do need to get off my arse and sort out but with 'his nibs' crap also lying about there really isn't anywhere to actually put it all.

So I have been procrastinating today something chronic and do feel very guilty about it but still can't seem to be able to shift my arse and decide what I start on first.

Maybe I'll have another cup of tea and think about it some more.

Well that's odd.

As I seem to have calmed down already. And not with the use of any alcohol. Can't be bad.

So it's time to get off one's arse and come up with a game plan. A theory that will get me out of the soup so to speak and back onto the track of reality.

How exactly do I intend on doing this? Well for one I am now about to get my arse in the shower and have a bloody good think about it and come up with some points of which i need to either change or get done. About bloody time too if you ask me.

Wish me luck, life's about to change for the better. (Even if it fucking kills me)

I refuse your reality and substitute it with my own Part II

FOR FUCKS SAKE!

It's not a difficult concept. I go in now every week and prove to the bunch of completely useless tossers I DO actually try my hardest to find a job. Ok so that bit they seem to be able to comprehend. In return for my 'efforts' I duly get paid the joyous sum of... £65 per week. Yep that's not even enough to pay bills in this house and I don't have a mortgage or rent in that equation.

So imagine this morning when going through bank statements before I left to go to the shit pit that in fact, DWP hasn't actually paid me FUCK ALL since 3rd Oct.
So being me decided to actually ask a PERSON whilst in there signing on this morning. What was that? That was the wrong answer of course.

I am shuffled off to a fucking phone near reception where I have to now sit in a chuffing queue waiting to speak to ' a representative'
20 minutes later and I finally manage to get a lass on the other end (hand really as I was actually dozing off) who on me asking why I had not received any money since the named date stated "Hmmm that's somewhat odd now isn't it?"

No actually my dear, it's not. In fact it's absolutely disgusting and once again in the course of approximately 2 weeks you have screwed me over good and proper.

Granted the end result is to my favour as I am now to receive my backdated money in the next 3 days or so but how the hell can these people live with themselves at exactly how useless they are? I for one would have been handed my arse on a plate if in anywhere I have worked fucked up quite as badly as this, yet even though I have complained AND in the correct format, in which they ask for have still no response be it phone, email or anything.

So once again I have returned back to Arse Towers fucking fuming but hell at least I have £480 arriving soon - this is assuming they actually pay me the fucker this time.

I refuse your reality and substitute it with my own.

I did occur to me this morning that my now 'ritual' Tuesday Morning with the job centre and the prevailing mood I always seem to be afterwards could be the cause of just how shit my day pans out.

Then I decided I was talking total and utter bollocks and shut the fuck up. Thinking back it's true. On both the last two weeks I have dutifully arrived on time, had all my paperwork in check and been trying my damnedest to get a job. Believe me there isn't much out there.
Yet still after me behaving, doing as I am told I end up leaving the place with either an enlightened rage or so demoralised I just want to go home to bed and cry.
Now that's just not right, so today I am going to try something different. I am going to go in there not giving a monkeys arse, be moody and generally just be a pain in the arse. Well must be worth a shot eh?

And considering the last time they actually bothered to give me any money was back on 3rd October I do think I have good reason to be - well a cunt today.

I am seriously considering just saying fuck it and not claiming any more as it really is just one big mind fuck of which you don't get paid for and what's the point in that?

Fuck me it's cold.

Being British, I assume my right to moan bitterly and constantly about the weather as it is for one, shite.
We have had snow on and off this morning, I've got the wood burner raging and I'm still bloody cold. No justice in the world I tell you.

But on a plus - my lazy shite of the other day kicked in and I now have two flat TV's (such a tart for material possessions me) and just 10 minutes ago a nice man came and bought my old hefty great TV as well. Bargain, with the added bonus I can now actually vacuum my living room again.

Might just do that as an effort to warm up and if that doesn't work going to re-do my hair then have a soak in a scalding hot bath.

Sorry, but I'm still here.

As much as it would delight some, I am unfortunatly for those few still here and now thanks to the sands of time as cool as a cucumber once again.

Yes, I admit I do get a little hot under the collar in some situations (quite rightly so I might add) but do none the less come back down from planet fruit loop and eventually stop acting like a raspberry jelly.

Once again I am calm, enjoying the fact that my new (ish) TV arrived today to replace the stuffed one in the bedroom - funny as hard as you try you just cant enjoy watching anything with a 3" multi coloured line running from top to bottom just off from the centre. And just for entertainments sake I am going to sell it on ebay for spares or repair... some dopey twat will be able to do something with it I'm sure.

Only problem with the new one is, it's a 32" version. That's great but the one it replaced was a 26" and of course idiot here didn't measure it before ordering. So now I have said new TV sitting in the cupboard of which I have had to adjust the shelves down a good 20cm just to accomodate the chuffing great thing.

All very well and good but said cupboard also doubles as my wardrobe and all shelves are adjustable but it does mean I do now have fuck all room to actually put my clothes. Hmmmm this could lead to two things. 1) I wait until main TV in the living room blows up and replace it with this new one and get a smaller one for the bedroom again... or 2) I go through my whole mound of clothes and just sling out to charity all the shite I really havent or am likely to wear ever again.

You just know it's going to be getting another telly. Lazy shite.

Warning Captain.... she's gonna blow!

If I was to say I was angry right now, that wouldn't even remotely come close the the sheer amount of rage that is currently running through my veins.

The reason?
The emotion 'anger' is brought to you today by the letters; DWP
(or for those who are unaware, The department of work and pensions.)

Ok so currently I am a sponger, dole'ite, burden onto the realms of society whatever derogatory name you would like to call it but give me my dues; I don't actually want to be claiming Job Seekers allowance I would rather have *Government shudders* a bloody job.

Ok so here's the build up to why I very nearly spontaneously combusted right there in the middle of the job centre floor today - if nothing else so they would have to bloody well clean up the mess.

Last Tuesday was my 13th week of claiming (I think I did mention it as it ripped my soul out which isn't bad considering how little effort they put in)
Now last week at this meeting, they told me I would be now signing on every week instead of the normal two weeks for six weeks. Great more expense for very little money in return.

So knowing I would be down in Kent for the next Tuesday on a prison officer assessment day (to all intense and purpose, a job interview with gym kit included) I would not be able to make the first sign on. A note was added to my file by "Janet" and I was asked to come in the day after (today) go to reception and asked to be booked in. The good point was, you can claim for any expenses for job interview's and such like, and if sodding off down to Kent didn't qualify I would be a nun, this also needed a separate appointment which was arranged for today also, in fact 10AM when they opened with "Vernon".

I arrived at 10, went in and saw "Vernon" with reference to the expenses claim, then went to reception to sort out getting to book in as I had been asked/told last week.

They did the usual and asked me to take a seat on the awful red and blue sofa's and then I was called over by "Phil"
"Phil" then told me as it was a particularly busy day I wouldn't be able to be seen by 12:30... I'm sorry, 12:30?

Evidently the shock written across my face was quite blatant. I stated that I didn't have the money to just have my car sit there in a sodding car park waiting to be seen at bloody 12:30 but "Phil" insisted that was the earliest appointment available.

I was bloody FUMING

I decided that the best option was to go retrieve the car from money pit (£1.30 for this effort so far) sod off to Mum's again, have a cup of tea and calm down.
Toddled back into Norwich AGAIN at 12:00 went in and waited to be called ready for 12:30.
At 12:40 a woman started calling out "Miss Barnes" now seeing as previously my name has been mistaken for Barnes decided to go and ask "Phil" who it was I was actually seeing. Yep, you've guessed it "Phil" can't actually read and the woman was sitting there calling for me even though oddly my name isn't fucking BARNES its BANKS.

Finally I get to actually sign on. I also explained my disgust as to the whole balls up of a day and asked who I should complain to. She brought me a form to fill in. Great.
She was however quite sympathetic and even stated that she would be bloody annoyed if the same had happened to her (no surprise really, just meant I got away from her quicker)

So I went off to one of the desks, wrote down my whole displeasure as to why the bloody appointment hadn't been made the week before when it was very evident I would be attending a day late and asking to claim for my time and money for today (which now included parking fee no two £2.60 on top as well)

Now I am home again I have - must be said calmed down a tadge (a good cup of tea and a few ginger nuts always sort everything) and all that is going round my head is what 'his nibs' always says to me when I am miffed

"In with anger, out with love"

However that isn't really working just yet, as currently the "out with love" part I would like to shove as far up the DWP's arsehole sideways.

Maybe I should just hit the vodka instead.

Who would have thought it?

Evidently the last 3 days has certainly had its fair share of ups and downs... and no, i'm not being rude here for once.

It all started with my day from hell starting at the bloody job centre first thing Tuesday. I realised it was going to be rubbish, I didn't quite fathom quite how soul destroying it would finally turn out.

It was my thirteenth week appointment, so didn't see the normal numpty and got to see a slightly higher in the food chain numpty, who was actually quite a nice lass. It wasn't the person who was the problem here, it was the system. So now I have to go weekly for six weeks. Then, I have to do all the things I have been doing every day for two weeks, weekly (so that shouldn't be too hard really should it?)

This in itself really didn't do me any good all in all, and by the time it came to go to bed I was so completely demoralised I just quietly cried my eyes out and feeling very sorry for myself. Wouldn't have been quite so bad but nibs heard me (which I hadn't intended on) which was nice as he was very comforting even though I was in no rational mood to feel better by then.

I finally did sleep and did actually feel better in the morning, so gathered myself into some sort of normality and toddled off to see a chap who owns his own surveying company here in Norwich of which was very beneficial and could prove to be very lucrative and to my benefit and I will fill in with details as and when they progress but could make me a shitload happier.

Then just to really cheer me up I went to see a band at the Waterfront called Half Man Half Biscuit of which was the ultimate nostalgia moment. The band in question I last saw when I was 16 or 17 and went with my chap at the time and his little brother. So imagine the hilarity of the fact I went again with said chap and initially his little brother was also going again as well! That did however change at the final hour and chaps niece, who also just happens to be our God daughter (yes, no laughing, I was a god mum once, many moons ago)
Imagine my utter joy when this now 17 year old lass, who I haven't seen since she was about 3 or 4 comes along too... freaky or what?

Evidently the evening was a really good laugh and I had a fantastic time even though I did have to leave during the encore due to having stood up for so long my knees were just deciding to punish me. Even though I haven't seen the band for many years the music was just as good and funny and well worth seeing again.

All in all Wednesday was a good day :)

So now after these minor set-backs, demoralising moments and somewhat here there and bloody everywhere moments I have to prepare myself for job interviews and assessment days next week etc but on the mend all the same.

Hanging in there and not quite ready to throw in the towel just yet...


Oh, and nearly forgot. The appointment with Dr twat Thursday morning reference my knees went really well. I must have spent all of 3 minutes in his office with the quickest referral I have ever had in my life. Biomechanics clinic here I come!

06:12 and all's well...

Hmmmm, well as 'well' as it could be considering the bloody ridiculous time anyway.

So this week we have good news bad news.

Bad: Seems that my application to the HSE for trainee officer has finally died a death but hey, at least they did actually bother to tell me!
Good: I had an appointment yesterday with an Occupational Health chappie for a company I have never even worked for (interesting concept)
Reason being, I want to apply for a position there but didn't want to waste their or my time going through the whole rig moral of applying, when in the final stages I would be told I couldn't be taken on because of my somewhat dazed and confused knee. So wanted a chat with them first.
The meeting turned out to be very useful and somewhat helpful. After describing the whole previous of my knee, what it does and doesn't do he actually came up with quite a viable possibility and a way in which could get myself on the road to if nothing else painless existence which cant be bad.
I did actually manage to confuse the chap (which for me isn't really that hard) and the inevitable result was he thinks I have one leg longer than the other causing me to walk round in circles it seems, placing more pressure on the outsides of my knees (right one in particular).
The confusion factor is in how I wear out my shoes... because I wear the outsides of the heels on each foot down to a nub this would cause me to be 'knock kneed' and pain being present on the insides of my knees. Not so in my case. It's actually the outsides of my knees which cause me squit, the tendons to be precise and thus a confused chappie indeed.

So his idea, of which I shall start the ball rolling on from Thursday with yet another appointment with my GP (useless man that HE is) to request I am put forward to see the Biomechanical assessment centre who will measure my legs, video how I walk and hopefully come up with a custom set of wedges for my shoes to alleviate the pressure correctly on said knees and hopefully 'fingers crossed' stop the pain.

Obviously I am not going to get too excited here as my GP is a bit of a gusset if I am honest but he does seem to like palming me off onto other departments so this should go through a treat really.

So on that part it's looking quite good.

As for today, that's another story. Today is my 13 week appointment with the JSA peeps of which they will decide if I will still qualify for actually receiving the sodding money and trying hard enough to actually get a job. Personally I would rather sit here and pull out my eyelashes with pliers but that would just get me committed so might refrain from that one.

So from a good day yesterday to today which is just going to be total and utter rubbish.

Oh well here it comes....

Progress update...

Never underestimate the power of Red Bull...or cheap equivalent...

Normally it doesn't bother me quite as much but yesterday afternoon I decided to have two cans of the Aldi equivalent which I can only assume contains a little bit more than just caffeine as I was awake until 03:30 playing poker before I realised the time and went to bed.

Not only that, I think it also might have an addictive agent as well, as before I shuftied arse up on the roof to get the new aerial installed downed another two thinking at this time in the morning I would be fine. Then downed another three and am now very tempted to just go and guts the last one calling to me from the fridge.

Good news is that the plus side is I have so far - changed all the bedding, emptied out the composter tuns, sorted and binned all the rubbish, made a start on the washing mound I still hadn't done since returning from Widge Manor then just in case that wasn't enough I still plan to dust, vacuum and generally get this house clean in a energy drink frenzy ready for the return of 'his nibs' tomorrow afternoon.

Speaking of his royal highness, just had a text this afternoon and he's passed all his training and I can only assume he's wandering around in a field right now with the biggest arsed smile across his face.

Well done you and roll on tomorrow when I think you can safely say I wont be surfacing for air for some time....

Aerial away!

It seems having a couple of days to recover from the ache's and pains of the weekend was all that was needed to encourage me into fitting the normal "freeview" aerial as purchased Monday whilst out with the Widge.

Looking back it's proven just how lazy I can be on occasion, seeing as it must have been eight months ago I awoke, opened my bedroom blinds after a rather windy night to see my aerial with pole still attached sitting quite happily in the front garden. Not that it really matters too much as I do have Sky with a dish so not like I was without TV but this one was attached to my computer allowing me to actually record digitally any programmes onto the old hard drive.

So I finally decided (seeing as the new series of Top Gear is on :) That it's about time I bought a new one and fitted it.
Whilst down at the Widge's at the weekend had a quick scank through the argos catalogue spotting the perfect one which attaches but a lower bracket instead of the usual end one. Much more sturdy for the job in hand. We toddled down and bought it and I needed to get ones arse into gear for the rest of the tat needed when home.

Bearing in mind that because of being in a valley you need a mahhusive long pole to actually mount said aerial to be able to actually receive a fart in the wind let alone a TV signal. So knowing said pole would be over 2 metres long had NO intention if using the bulk standard aluminium tat you get with any fixing kit. So yesterday I whizzed down to the local electrical wholesaler to purchase one length of 25mm galvanised steel conduit. That wouldnt possibly blow down without taking the bloody chimney with it.
I went armed with a hacksaw seeing as this stuff comes in 3 metre lengths however surprisingly the scenic actually managed gobble up the whole thing without cutting. Excellent!

Brought it home and then realised the one chimney bracket actally still attached up there was really not going to cut the mustard with this now fully erected thing sitting in my living room. Had a quick gander on screwfix and purchased two new brackets ready for a nice dry day when I could shimmy up said roof and fit the monster metal hooligan.

Bugger me was I not awoken by said screwfix parcel arriving this morning (good service that!) and on realising it wasn't raining however still damp out there thought bugger it. Might as well start my impression of a mountaineer. I did have visions of fucking off the roof, breaking a limb and lying in my front garden for hours until an unsuspecting neighbour came past to point and laugh.

Evidently I didn't, the aerial is now up, I am still touch wood in one bit, ladder and tools have been put away I have managed to have a spot of lunch and yes the signal on the computer TV is now good and strong, I can now record TopGear when it's repeated for 'his nibs' when he comes back from training.

So all in all today has been good - however one thing does still trouble me. After my little drunk escapades the other night I now seem to be VERY blonde and I don't just mean in the sense of being dim here - I mean SERIOUSLY boardering on white blonde. Only problem with this is it's taking me time to get used to it. I still walk past mirrors and make myself jump wondering "What the fuck?!?"

Either way I now need to get ones arse off the sofa now, tidy this bloody shithole of a home and finally feel like I am getting somewhere.

Tonight Matthew, I will be 'drunk from Norwich'

10 out of 10 for naughtiness. It's only 7PM and I am completely mullered on white wine. However I do have an excuse, I was Mumsie Banks'ed good and proper today. Not only did we do an Aldi visit this morning but bugger me she snuck an Asda in this afternoon as well.... sheesh.

I will just explain for those who are unaware of my Mothers talents but she doesn't drive, so evidently when she needs to do some food shopping I get roped into it left right and bloody centre. Today being one of those days. Bearing in mind when I food shop I just sit my arse here at computer and get said items brought right to my front door... Mumsie Banks? Nooooooooo she is a 'feeler' of vegetables that one lol.

So, apart from the tedious amounts of time spent going round supermarkets today I have managed to watch a DVD I ordered whilst at Widges for the weekend (you can tell how drunk I am, had a bit of a cry at the end of it) Also now having a sneezing fit of which I can only put down to the wine which scuppers the possibly allergic to just food problem. And now i am in an email con flab with a for want of a better word... idiot.

So it's early evening I am drunk and have decided to do something drastic. Haven't quite figured out what it is yet but I'm sure it will be dramatic all the same.
I have already come up with a bit of a life plan today of which should make it easier to get on and improve my somewhat useless situation.

Ok so realistically? Yes In about half an hour I will crash out asleep on the sofa wondering what exactly happened this evening so will update you tomorrow with the results...

I am in my element....

Ok so my weekend has been for better a word..... fantastic.

Started well will time spent down at Widge manor, met family at a fireworks party, met Jax as I mentioned and then yesterday was the day of reckoning the MPH 08 show at earls Court London. Get in there!

It was fantastic! Granted, thanks to my somewhat eagerness to want to 'be' there we arrived at 11am spent plenty of time in the VIP suite enjoying the fact we had bought the dogs bollocks tickets to make sure we had a good day. Then luck would have it we managed to spend a good hour sitting in the 'Clarkson family' vip booth there... then got in line for the show with the special bus queue which in all honestly was need for both myself and Widge by that point as we were bloody knackerd - only to find our 'picked by me some time ago' seats were in the second row with only a VIP seating box in front which was.... empty - hooofucking rah!

As for the show, that was, must be said somewhat 'scripted' but bloody good all the same and in all fairness we didnt give a shit. All bangs in the right places and plenty to giggle over, many photos taken and memories to remember.

Then had the quick paddock tour after the show which was ok, then seeing as the pair of us were fucking spent decided to toddle back to the hotel cunningly situated 5 minutes round the corner. Not a bad place HOWEVER the nice tenant in the next room who insited on talking at the top of his voice until the wee hours then watching the QVC channel at pretty much full volume next door didnt really boad well.

He did finally shut the fuck up at 6am when we decided to retalitate with "Quincy ME" from the TV in our room which did seem to do the trick and we got at least a couple of hours of shut eye in the end.

So on awaking approximatly 07:30 decided to get up and ready and toddle down to breakfast for a fry up... NO SUCH FUCKING LUCK. What was on offer? musli I wouldnt give to a gerbill, tea, coffee and a reather sparse couple of bits of toast (delivery was included on said toast as it was brought to the table however)

Hmmmmmm YUM

But on refection the day was superb. Throuraghly enjoyed it all even if we didnt get to meet the slow wonder Mr May but then chances are after that many shows he probably wouldnt have been to keen on these two reprobates taking the piss.

REALLY bad points: After such a long day it must be said we were both bleeding tired due to amounts of walking and such guff but being the old cynical logical daft pair we are - paced ourselves perfectly enough to have a nice evening of rest here back at Widge Manor with vodka and the best roast chicken dinner I have had in soooooom time.

So will we do the show again? oh fuck yes... will we somehow blag corporate status next time? Oh I think so.....Not that I am complaining we didn't exactly do too badly this time... next time however we need to be able to say " Do you not know know who I am????" to the minions ;)

good'o

Greetings from Widge Manor...

I think we can safely say the excitement of it all has FINALLY hit home. It took getting away from the traumas of the week with 'his nibs' and getting to sit back, relax, have a few vodka's and get to enjoy good company (including meeting Widge's mate Jax who is superb)

As for nibs - it seems to be sorting itself out but if his day from hell gets any worse today I am bloody glad I'm down here away from it all. I hope it does sort itself out and he can get away from work in time to get to scouts for the training week as it will be a nightmare of a time if he cant pass out this week. Fingers crossed.

So onto the other important stuff.....

Tomorrow is MPH08! And the best bit? we have VIP tickets of which come with drinks, a meal and a book... and a guarantee of a couple of pukka seats to the top gear live show. Also being me made sure we booked the last one of the day too... superb stuff.

T-minus 5 days and counting.....

Well to the actual 'show' that is. Festivities will start long before that as I am travelling down to "Widge Manor" Thursday and I am pretty sure, what with the pumpkins I am taking for the pair of us to 'creatively design' into some sort of Halloween lantern frenzy which you just know will end with many hours of giggling vodka induced pumpkin daftness will end in some funny old photos.

It's funny really. After such a shite weekend with illness and 'his nibs' playing up it took an email from a very wise Lama this morning to really get me back on track and truly excited about the whole thing. Thanks Tali.

So it's Monday, I didn't sleep too well thanks to stiff neck and nibs going to work an hour early... heh heh. But now I shall get dressed and start to plan exactly what it is I will need to take with me for the weekend.

So this week IS going to be good, no matter how hard anyone tries to piss it up.

Well that's mildly irritating.

I don't know if it's the fact that the clock's have gone back due to 'British Summer Time' and my dog is obviously out of synq or the fact that I wake up too bloody early sometimes that has annoyed me this morning.

So 'technically' it's 05:30am which for me isn't a ridiculous time to wake... don't ask me why, it just isn't, however it's now actually 04:30 which always sounds just that little bit worse.

I should go back to bed I know but if I do I will enter that world of pain waking up around 9 with a stonking headache if I do go back to sleep - catch 22 or what.

So instead, I have decided to stay up at ridiculous o'clock, filled the dishwasher whilst making myself a cup of tea and now have every intention of moaning about what a complete shite day yesterday was.

It also started at around 04:30 with the pleasure of period pains once again - great. You know the routine, hot water bottles to the ready, tablet to take however this time there was also another snag.

When I tried to actually sit up in bed my right shoulder and neck screamed at me as if I had been stabbed with a pencil. Hmmm what's going on here then?

Well, I don't know. I went to bed fine and can only assume I slept in some sort of weird position and now I have to roll like a limpet round to the edge of the bed to allow me to get out. That's a bugger and somewhat embarrassing to boot.

Once out of bed 'limpet stylie' and having taken tablet we go onto the microwave hot water bottle marathon. Knowing it was likely to be a long haul, all three of the 'waveable' items nuked - one for belly, one for main shoulder and wheat bag for round the neck.
I wobbled myself back into the bed making sure to prop ones self right up so as to alleviate the pain of it all switched on the TV and was attacked by a certain fat black labrador all the time she had a " oh you are REALLY warm" glint in her eye.

I must have doped myself up good and proper as I next woke up again at 9 with:
Screaming swede ache.
Neck and shoulder still deciding I should look like walking around with a stick up my arse.
Belly pulling said stick down again. Can't win, I tell you.

You can tell how rough I was feeling as I never even turned the computer on, couldn't even summon up the effort to go and get the laptop either. All told I haven't felt that pants for bloody ages.

I decided by noon that I really should do something - obviously sitting on ones arse not moving all morning had given me cabin fever so decided I would wrap up warm, pack myself and dog up into the car and take her for a walk to the beach. Figuring driving would do me good as I would have to turn neck to be able to see other traffic coming and the walk would help the old cramps loosen off.

Yes, it did me good. No I didn't feel any better on my return and finally gave up, landed on the sofa bed with more hot water bottles and promptly slept the rest of the day (hence my silly o'clock regime) When I woke again at 9pm decided enough was enough and went to bed.

So here I am, now just gone 5am feeling much better in the neck department granted and as per usual after the initial 24 hours of the monthlies that's calmed down again now. All in all pretty much out of the scoop of pain again but somewhat annoyed at my ability to lose 24 hours all told.

So whoever it is keeps saying about gaining an hour in bed when the clocks go back can stick that little snippet of joy right up their arse if you ask me.

Well that was rather a piss poor effort people.

I did have to laugh. Not only did I drag my arse out of bed for today's 'expedition' but even had to pay for the privilege of parking in Norwich for said event too, all £1.30 of it (didn't take long to realise it really was an hour of my life I would never be getting back.)

The event in question was the job centre's "Christmas Jobsfair"
Jobsfair my arse, more like jobs farce.

There were approximately 7 or 8 'recruiters stands' of which I would say maybe four had actually made an effort and thought about what to bring that might be of use with relevant information to hand out to punters. This wouldn't have been quite so bad but these were all of the companies I would work for when my arse has healed up.

The others left were - hmm how can I put this politely? rubbish.
One woman had obviously spent lots of time with a laminating machine and placed lots of very pretty signs with the companies logo on it however had neglected to bring anything with what the company actually did... so, as you do I asked her. Turns out she's from Sweden and hardly speaks a work of English so when I did finally make out that they were a company that remodels mobile phones and wanted people with 'electrical backgrounds' and she gave me that "chickens arse" mouth look as is to say but not you then... until I mentioned I DO have electrical qualifications and her eyes lit up. So imagine her utter delight when at that point I said "Sorry love, but if you cant even sort out a bloody table with decent information about yourselves at a JOBS FAIR, I don't really want to work for you thanks."

So then there was the choice of packing cakes in a bakery - hmmm not a safe option that one..
A care assistant company - errr nope
A local big hotel just looking for skivvies to bar tend and clean rooms,
another hotel chain looking for the same...
those are just the ones I remember of course.

The best one was an older looking gentleman just sitting there at a desk with a few bits of paper in front of him. I walked past assuming he was just some jobcentre troll looking in on who was attending however on reflection now am wondering if he was from an engineering company as he had all the right symptoms. Anti social, no signs to say where he was from etc.. oh well his loss not mine.

The only good point of the day was one of the hotel stands were giving out 'dib dab' sweeties which for obvious reasons attracted me first so at least i gained some sugar sustenance for the day and some paperwork that will come in very handy for lighting the wood burber seeing as its bloody cold today!

Oh and before i go - Happy Brithday to the Lama !!!!

Well I'll be...

Saturday afternoon after 'his nibs' went home to go out with his best mate for the night I made quite a rash decision which envolved going and picking up Mumsie Banks, her helping me sort the loft out and loading the car with shitload of tat ready to get up bright and early the Sunday morning to do a car boot sale.

It was quite nice really. Mumsie even stayed over to which probably did her the world of good having something to do and made life a lot easier as we took the mad labrador with us to said sale.

It was very funny. Getting up at 5am isn't the nicest of things on a Sunday Morning, especially as it was still bloody dark when we got there, however because the site is on a park and ride car park just down the road not only was it illuminated but nice tarmac and not grotty old grassy field.

So we arrived, unloaded all the boxes out of the car and started setting everything up. You get the usual trunky bastards rifling through the boxes before you have even unpacked which was obviously annoying Mum but as I said to her - if they think they are getting something amazing by snouting through there first, so be it.

So we say there for 5 hours in total I should imagine and probably only made about £35 but the fact that I am finally getting rid of all the shite I have collected over the years from my attic is the clincher for me. I must have sold over half of the tat which was up there so I for one was very chuffed with efforts.

Granted, I still have around 5 boxes of tat now in my shed of stuff to do another one and could quite happily find some more up there to add to it but it's a start I can tell you!

I was also really surprised with what actually sold! People will buy utter shite of the price is right for them!

Then at around 12 when we did get back to mine, 'his nibs' had arrived and was in the process of cooking us both an amazing steak meal bless his cottons. Much needed seeing as we had only been munching on oatie biscuits all morning!

So all in all not a bad day really. Made a bit of dosh, got rid of a load of tat and felt rather good about it all.

Cant be bad!

Yoou spin me right round baby right round...

I think we can safely say this morning that my head is somewhat spinning. No, not due to anything alcoholic, drug related or any stimulant, just the fact that 'his nibs' has done a bit of a loony spack on me this morning.

Nothing that cant be sorted and when he's finally sorted his head out he will be a much happier bunny I'm sure however I do seem to have this hunch that when he does decide what he wants out of life I probably wont be a part of it. However I am just speculating here.

For once he's actually talking to me about things which are bothering him which is rare and he is seeming quite happy right now even though just this morning he decided he wasn't going to scouts this weekend for training as he's not sure this game plan is the route he really wants in life. In fact it could have just been a substitute for all the shit he has gone through in the last year.

So my perspective on all this? Well I can only assume now that chances are we will probably 'fizzle out' knowing that if he does come up with some life game plan I wont be a part of it.

Shame really as he is the sort of person I could actually put up with for some time without wanting to gouge his eyes out with a blunt spoon... but time will tell - I could be wrong, however gut feeling is telling me I could well be old hat once again and will have a few barriers in place from now on just to make sure I wont get hurt this time.

(mental note to self = try not to be quite so pessimistic in future!)

:)

Constructive anger...

Nice to see I am utilising my 'miffedness' (yes making my words up as I go along these days)

Decided after my little rant earlier that I should go out and cut the lawn for the last time. Yes I know I said a week or two back hopefully that would be the last one before winter but bugger me it wasn't. This time however I can assure you it is as I for one am not doing it again even if it gets as long as to lose the labrador out back in it.

Well its done now and I even attacked the front garden which has been neglected since I had the drive done mainly due to the fact I'm still not really sure exactly what I want to do to it yet with it's now SHORT bloody fence. At least it looks a bit less scruffy for a while and maybe the whiny arsed neighbours might just shut the fuck up for a bit but I doubt it.

Getting onto that subject again I think I might have found the culprit who grassed me up to the council and next time I see them I'm going to just ask them (well being me, why not?) And if the cunt does actually admit it was him am going to ask why he didn't just talk to me first... then report him for his shitty hand built conservatory that overhangs onto my property... fair is fair I say.

Yep, I think you can safely say I am still rather annoyed about that.

Right, what can I go and vandalise in this strop now?

Hmmmmmmm

This whole job hunting malarkey is REALLY starting to get my goat.

I really cant seem to win. I have such a diverse range of 'abilities and talents' lol that if I apply for anything that could be deemed below what I should be after, I don't even get a look in.
And if I apply for something as a trainee in something I would like to do (such as photography) I get responses along the line of them thinking I am absolutely mad.

So today I have stepped up to the plate and applied for three jobs I didn't expect to; (mainly as its shift work and if I am honest I bloody hate shifts but hey ho)

And no laughing now, they are:

Community police officer (yes, that's a hobby hobby)
Prison officer
RAF something or other (will get the information pack on that this week, so will let you know)

Obviously I have applied for other stuff as stipulated by my 'job seekers agreement' - pah, but nothing quite as funny as the stuff above so not worth mentioning

I would say that I am quite chipper about it all but I'm not. Lacking of a job is pissing me right off and quite frankly embarrassing when people keep asking what I am doing these days.

Bollocks.

Oh you sneaky cow you.....

There are times in my life when even I am impressed with just how cunning and down right bloody devious I can be. Today was with no exception.

Not only do I now have a 'bit of kit' which is technically 'borrowed' but could do me the world of good, but the way in which it was pilfered was positively genius.

Granted I had help and this person shall remain nameless due to it could quite well get his arse kicked as well but i for one would like to thank him for his stella efforts today, what a complete star ;)

So I cannot mention what I have pinched due to incrimination, I can't even mention my accomplice and in all truth this blog is pretty much pointless really! Great!

Well apart from the fact you are all now very aware I am a thieving sneaky bastard and cant be trusted!

heh heh

Tired, all shit out and blah.

It's been a mental couple of days. Not only did I go and pick up Marmite from the airport late Friday night which in itself knackered me out being a tired shite who normally sods off to bed by 10pm... but I also went out with them for a meal this evening and then a fun filled drive to the beach (Yes, in the dark?!?!)
That coupled with the fact I had the momentousness dose of the shits yesterday really has wiped me out a bit.

It is nice to see him again, even if it is only a fleeting visit of which involves me driving them to Cambridge today, ready for their meeting Monday. It's funny really, there are some things about this uncle which are really obvious he's a relative to me as we are both still little sods.Weird how only I seem to have this trait lol.

Not to worry though, will see him at Christmas again :)

In that whole Ying & Yang way

Today has gone full circle from yesterday's pants like vein.

Not only have I applied for another four jobs (must be SOMETHING out there for me?!?!?) the parcel expected arrived this afternoon and 'his nibs' is very happy with it and then just to top if off his training at work finished early, he's home already and.... here's the best bit...
cooking tea - bless him.

One of the jobs in question did have one of those REALLY LONG applications you do only on-line which in itself is a bit of a chore but thanks to the fact I have already filled in something similar on-line before for another company it started to auto fill the boxes! bonus!

Oh there was another thing about yesterday which was rubbish and I forgot to mention; I managed to get a sodding trojan on the computer and bloody McVittie didn't seem to find it. I can safely say that after sitting up into the wee hours trying to get rid of it did drive me somewhat mental however managed to get rid of the little bugger in the end. Grrrr.

So now I have the rest of the day to sit back and come up with a name for my project... ready for my sister harassing me tomorrow (and she will)

Hmmm might just go and eat my tea now heh heh