Cold lady parts? I should say so!

Today was defiantly a top notch on the 'fantasticfuckingday' o'meter.

Considering in my life I have acquired many a driving licence (right up to class 1 articulated lorry type shit) Today's efforts to start learning the smallest (being a motorbike) was certainly a giggle and a half. 

Now for some reason in my life, I have never actually ridden or had any instruction to ride one. You would have thought I would have, but alas no. This actually turned out to be an advantage in the "professional learning curve" And for that *thanks fuck!*

So with my passing my theory & hazard perception test yesterday with various spotty little oik's preparing for standard car driving lessons the fact I was actually getting arse straight onto two wheels the next day was certainly an eye opener!

So, getting back to today's efforts. We arrive at the training centre, bundled into the back of a tatty transit and scoot off to an airfield with a "spare bit" especially for the training of numbnuts such as myself.

We are quickly explained the controls, how to ride and toddle off on bits of the runways to get the hang of riding. Then, how to start to go up the gears, then how to stop abruptly (not really difficult!) Then are shown how to do the slow manoeuvres with control and precision. 

This was purely a "getting used to how to ride a bike" with a bit of examples of what sorts of stuff we would be doing during the MOD1 test of which I will be taking on Dec 22nd.

But before I rush into that, I have my actual CBT test (compulsory basic training) which will allow me to ride on the road with 'L' plates.  This is happening on the 4th and after today's efforts I am really looking forward to that!

So there we are, I am still mad, but loving every bloody minute of it and can't wait to be able to go out riding for a jolly with little legs on our own bikes!

GET IN!

 I would like to point out that anything even remotely close to the lady parts region got colder than a penguins bollocks also. Will certainly compensate with ever so slightly more thermal pants for the next stage!!!

Eco friendly, maybe so but not functional in the slightest.

Bearing in mind I used to be an electrician, a lot of the light fittings here in Clements Castle are of the halogen bulb variety. Only three are the "sunk in" type taking the straight pin connector bulbs but the other three fittings (each with three bulbs) have the pins with knobbly bits on the end - these are the more common of the two I can only assume.

So a few months back after seeing a great deal online, I decided to purchase 12 of the new fangled LED version bulbs to not only be gentle on my electricity bill, but to do that little bit of personal effort to being environmentally friendly.

All three of the smaller fittings got them. Bedroom, Kitchen & the office. 

The bedroom ones lasted 2 days, mainly because when switched off the buggers still actually glow, which in a room you are trying to sleep in is not really the best situation.

The office and the kitchen did actually do quite well, until I finally decided to give up and take them out again today. 

In themselves they are a wonderful idea and probably did reduce the electricity bill for the duration of time spent in. There was however one major factor that I just couldn't put up with any more.

They are absolutely rubbish for lighting a room! 

(So if you are thinking of changing yours - please don't, utter waste of money until they manage to uprate them to a decent lux level!)

So ok, I tried, but here's something I now cannot quite fathom out.

I took out 12 bulbs to replace with the LED ones. These were lovingly placed all together in a box in the shed with many other spare light bulbs. 

On going to the shed to collect them to place back in, I can only find 5. Not 12 as was removed before. So I have replaced the 3 in the kitchen, and have put one in each of the other two rooms but I'll be buggered if I have any idea where the other ones went!

Maybe I have a light bulb eating spider in my shed, who knows!

The good news is, I can now actually see what I am cooking, working on and we are in complete darkness in the bedroom when the lights do go out!

Seeing as I mentioned a visit to the chiropractor yesterday, I figured I really should explain exactly how that came about and what the hell has been going on.

In the last couple of months I had started to get a niggly pain at the lower end of my neck back down to between the shoulder blades. Over the course of the final week of that it turned into a full blown, dogs bollocks - felt like I was being poked in the back with a broom handle type thing which also resulted in not being able to turn my head and also walking around like I had said broom shoved up my arse.

All in all it was, even for me with quite a high pain threshold bloody agonising and after a trip to the local GP and being given anti-inflammatory pills and told to sod off for two weeks and see how I got on.

Now dont get me wrong, I realise these people are very busy and do a great job but I really couldn't move without what felt like a lightening bolt shooting down my spine so wasn't impressed with the diagnosis.

It was at that point OH said I should really try going to see the chiropractor he had seen after running off a cliff last year (plank :P)

So had my first appointment, when they strip you down to all but undies, slap you in a gown and do all sorts of checks to see how your body is actually doing.

Evidently the fact that I was described as a bit lop-sided and they can do me some good was certainly a good thing. So after the initial 'consultation', back scan, stood like a lemon in my mad cow pants in front of an oversized frame with elastic bands all over the shop was sent on my way... still at that point un-adjusted.

Two days later I'm back (and it seem this place NEVER runs on time) The first initial (clothed I might add) adjustment was done in the back enclosed area which wasn't a bad thing. 

The last time I had anything like this done I can certainly remember at the point after the 'crack' my usual involuntary response was to say "coooorrrr fuck"  of which I did, quite a few times but am assured by said Dr chiro he has certainly heard worse.

The good point? (bearing in mind I am now into my 3rd week of twice a week) It's actually starting to help.... the back and neck at least. The one thing it didn't help with which I was initially told it could help was for painful periods. Well if helping was the utter doubled over, fainting hot and cold sweats I gained last Thursday at 4am then all I can say is he must have angered the gods of menstruation that day as it was a bloody doozy. I have since been advised that bit could take time. (He would say that)

So I'm seemingly a bit more upright these days. Granted, not completely but getting there. 

Who knows maybe in the future I will stop dragging my knuckles along the floor!

Some days the simplest things surprise me. Not often though.

Firstly apologies if this blog looks pants today but I'm writing from my phone whilst waiting to once again see the chiropractor. I will attempt to save it then format it when home again so patience is a virtue.

So what has surprised me? Well a few things but most all a very nice thing that happened today, whilst sat at my PC getting on with work listening to the radio. 

Now I am nowhere near the time in my life when I am going to start listening to BBC radio 4 on a regular basis, however, after some not quite so subtle "self advertising" of a follower on Twitter decided, seeing as I was at home getting on would pop it on and see what the little bugger had been up to and was self whoring himself with. 

Now I still couldn't now tell you what the play was called, nor who wrote it but what I will say is it was really quite moving. A tale of a man, travelling far to visit his dying mother in hospital and getting somewhat caught up in what could be described as another world. 

His other world however, managed to do a wonderful thing. In the sad final stages of his mothers life, thanks to an slightly odd character, not a million miles away from myself, surprisingly brought back to the surface all the wonderul memories he had buried, hidden away of times with his Mum, which also in turn distracted him away from the harsh yet inevitable reality.

I think the reason I really enjoyed it, was after it was over it made me sit back and remember again times I had with my Dad, good times over many years and certainly brought a very big smile across my face. Ok, so Dad died over two years ago now but there isn't a week go by when I dont think of him but this brought back the "best bits" as so to speak and gave me the warm fuzzy feeling you can only get when remembering your Dad and how much he meant to you.

So for that, the great acting (or should I say 'reading' abilities') of James & his co star I thank you. You made a cynical old git have a mushy moment with your 'creative talent' and I normally don't let those out too often as most will know.

As for listening to Radio 4 any more... I dont really think so. They also played The Archers in that time frame and oddly, that made me want to stab myself in the eye with and arrow.