Sunday morning Urghhhhh

Current mood: busy

Head like a

I suppose if I really thought about it I have actually been quite productive this morning. However that is the problem. I can't think straight at all.

I'm guessing it is a weenie bit of a hangover but nothing extreme, just one of those ones that gently reminds you it's there every so often. God forbid I would forget that.

Hangover or not I have managed to clear the garden from the BBQ last night, which was a complete tip truth be known. I've tried to empty the ashes from the Fire grate pit thing into a bin bag and being still hot they promptly burnt right through the bag all over the floor… opps. And the dishwasher is certainly earning its keep today and is running on shifts. I would say to do the dishes but really it's just to annoy the neighbours with the row it makes. Shame.

It was great to see everyone again last night must be said but that's the joys of being away a lot of the time you just don't often get the time to do bugger all when home let alone visiting people.

Fatty pup pup certainly enjoyed the company with shit loads of food about for sure and it must have knackered her right out as she's been zonked out all morning bless her.

As for me, at some point I'm sure my brain will start working again but I don't expect it to be any time soon.

Currently listening: Pablo Honey By Radiohead Release date: 20 April, 1993

School holidays – what a treat for the rest of the world.

Current mood: moody
Category: Life

I can't remember shit these days it must be said. People's names, things I am supposed to do, you name - it in one ear and out of the other.

But I do remember as a kid the summer holidays, going out for hours and miles on our bikes, making dens in woodland and generally doing what kids 'used' to do. Evidently as we all know kids do none of that these days as they are after all specifically put on this earth to annoy the living biscuit out of me instead.

What with the local kids around here who are, after all bored and couldn't just fuck off somewhere else and use their imagination and think of something to do. Doesn't take much to please me kids… do what you like but just keep it the bloody hell away from me eh?

Then there is the fact that the roads are so much quieter thanks to the 4x4's taking said little shits to school, this also seems to go by just as quickly as the hols did when I was a kid. I will enjoy the quiet roads yes, but not for long. Bastards.

So as I hide in my home from the kids trying to catch up with the cleaning I find myself one again sitting on here moaning about life in general, grumpy old bat that I am.

I think we can safely say that there will never be any junior arses running around the world as not only do they annoy me I would be able to hand mine back to the dutiful owner at the end of the day when it's annoyed me. Unless of course I set up one of those little burger vans on the roads and cook all the local kids into a big pot of chilli and sell it? Hmmm there's a thought.

Currently listening: Let Go By Avril Lavigne Release date: 04 June, 2002

Snot fest is subsiding it seems.

Current mood: chipper
Category: Life

I really expected to wake up this morning feeling completely pants due to lurgy but was surprised to find my throat has eased off and the snot ball is reducing. Probably due to the fact that here at home I have many things in the old bathroom cabinet to counteract the bugger.

I gave up in the end last night and had a somewhat reasonably early night without the aid of any alcohol (dear god, must have been feeling like shit) which has left me feeling quite bright and breezy this morning. Can't be bad.

The washing mound has been started good and proper and I still have to go through the "tuck shop" food box from the last trip which should turn out to be interesting if nothing else. Hell at least I can slap everything in there needed for Sunday through the dishwasher I suppose.

So other than that today's plan is to get this place a reasonable relation to clean (bathroom is defiantly in need of a bit of TLC) and if it doesn't fuck it down with rain will cut the grass again… but as per usual, don't hold your breath on that one.

Currently listening: Tenacious D By Tenacious D Release date: 25 September, 2001

Oyster factory extreme

Current mood: tired
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

Oh joy if joys! I awoke at big sisters this morning with the most horrendous sore throat and a snot ball the size of a football wedged in my head – terrific!

How the bloody hell did I manage to get a cold? It's been bloody scorching down south the entire time I spent there to the extent I even dozed off like a twat laying in the sun and got a bit… well "lobsterie" thanks to tired cow syndrome.

On the plus side though I am home, yes somewhat tired and achy but home all the same. Hooligan was very pleased to see her mummy and will now probably be very bored as I spend the next few hours sorting out all my tat ready to go away again Sunday afternoon. Poor little buggers probably thinking I keep abandoning her at nanny and grand-dads because I don't love her anymore.

The Cornwall job was a scream, it must be said. I ended up going out drinking with a whole chunk on them from the Navy base the Tuesday Night, of which they then gave me a free pass to get into the show the next day. Can't be bad! So I would like to say thanks to; (this should be fun me trying to remember everyone's name….)

Tim, his brother Dave for driving us about and not drinking, Tony, Ed, Sarah, Johnnie, Oscar, Tom, the Dutch pilots who spent their entire time asking women to try on the "lady strings" (namely, bright orange thongs on which their team logo adorned the front *sigh*)

I'm sure there are a load of others names I just cant remember but thanks to you all for your hospitality and friendliness; It made the time down there a really good laugh.

Oh, and I mustn't forget to mention "Finchy" who after Not giving me a free ticket to get into the show and thieved the cleaning kits I had taken down with me did finally let me have a "pilots packed lunch" to eat on the way home… And in the words of his student colleagues: yes mate – you are indeed a big girl J

Roll on Sunday, off to Donnington…. A BMW job would you believe.

Hear that little legs?

Boooolarks, bugger & balderdash

Current mood: contemplative
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

Well there's an interesting concept

Chaos and pandemonium has arrived once again to the world of arse. Actually that's a complete lie as to be honest I am bored shitless and will endeavour to explain before my laptop battery dies on me…

So, yesterday was a 418 mile journey down south to Helston, Cornwall to set up some equipment for Saab/Chevvy at the local airshow.(which is tomorrow)

Now because I am only in a Movano van thingy without a unit decided on bringing the old tent with me for a trial. Now considering I got here just after 8 pm last night and the first thing I could manage when I got my somewhat sore arse out of the drivers seat was pour myself a voddy and coke (well, had to be done now didn't it?) Took one look at the tent in a bag and thought 'fuck that for a packet of peanuts' and slept in the van. Now this is what I detest about campsites in general. Not only were there kids strutting about until god knows what time laughing, giggling and generally getting on my tits but there is also the fucking annoying campervan next to me with a mini generator whining like a cunt as well. Bollocks.

Sooooo…. I decided that another 2 vodka's would sort that right out and finally fell asleep around midnight. Woke up bright, breezy and looking like shit at 5:30 (I hate my body clock sometimes) looked out the van door to see a very silent campsite which was damp, cold and to be honest not the most appealing.

Wandered over to the toilets to brush teeth and wash up ready to go put up all the kit and was delighted to find the block was a, freezing fucking cold, b, smelly as fuck and c, generally the sort of thing you would expect if you were not paying £8.50 for the privilege of using. Oh it's a hole… a complete hole but hey at least I am only ½ a mile from the base thingy should they need me to go back in (which they wont)

Worst part is I will need to use the shower this afternoon and I'm REALLY dreading that!

Getting back to the 'I never really make much sense' point. Finished dropping off the kit and was left with the whole day to find something to do. Decided that a good plan would be to go to Penzance seeing as dopey tart here had forgotten to bring a coat with her and shorts (yes its scorching during the day and kin' freezing at night) Bought all those (bargains I might add) and have now settled down for the rest of today/tomorrow at the kin stinky campsite again.

I have made a conscience effort to fit in here with the other holiday makers, by hiding either in my tent (which is now up) or as I am now hiding in the van which to be honest is cooler as it's fucking hot out there at the moment. I have also laughed quite loudly at the kids falling over earlier which was slightly cruel but still funny and will also talk to no one when I do go over to the "toilet block from hell" in a bit. Such a social little bunny that I am.

On the plus side – I have absolutely no idea what the time is so started on the old voddy again about an hour ago and evidently this camping lark is looking much more appealing. Only the rest of the bottle will make it seem any better.

Ahhh yes (you can tell I'm bored shitless) yesterdays journey with the sat nav was a complete farce. Not only did it not have enough memory to calculate the whole journey in one go… oh this pleased me immensely NOT. But it wouldn't calculate the chuffing thing until 35 miles down the road which did to be honest render it the most useless piece of technology on the planet. And being me I have to blame someone and today I blame James bloody May from topgear after his little ditty in the telegraph Saturday. Your fault captain slow, and if I should see you ever in the future done expect a nice arse greeting

Right will shut up now as I still have to upload all this tat before electrickery runs out and I have to go grovelling to the site owner for a plot with a mains standing. (and believe me that woman is VERY scary!)

Blah blah blah, where's my vodka gone?

I’m getting used to Luton these days.

Current mood: contemplative
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

I'm guessing that they like me doing the Griffin House jobs. Dunno if it's because I'm doing a good job of it or I'm just the person who moans the least about doing it but either way I seem to keep getting them. Not that I mind, it's not a bad one really. In fact here are the fruits of my labour of late just in case you wondered what the fuck it is I actually do…

Antara launch thingy whatsit. (Now they were fun to get through the pissy little front doors.)

So what's next? Well after having a sneaky whinge that the only southern jobs I have been getting so far are in Luton the next job is certainly going to be down south enough for me…

It's in a town called Helston in Cornwall! And bugger me it's another air show… what a complete shit that is! Bwahahahaha!

This time however I am jobbing it without a unit so am (just for a laugh) going to take the tent with me and crash in there. Cant be bad. Haven't tested out the new tent yet so this could be fun…

Currently watching: There's Something About Mary (Widescreen Edition) Release date: 01 February, 2005

Premier Inn “Special Night” had by all….

Current mood: exhausted
Category: Life

Bearing in mind the pack up in the Bullring, Birmingham finished at midnight you would think the plan of going to bed, getting up this morning, having another fry up then driving home would be a doddle. Would it hell.

After driving out into the night air my sat nav once again decided to be a complete cunt and sent me to the wrong location. Bastard thing. So I spent a good three quarters of an hour driving round the worlds most annoying one way system in a hairy arsed truck pushing limo's, fat birds in skimpy shorts and pink fluffy antenna's on their heads and generally getting shouted at by drunk males out wandering round on any bit of tarmac they could find.

(my arse)

When I did finally find the hotel again (using memory and ignoring the bloody machinery in the truck) I pull up to the barrier and instantly notice that the car park is completely full. Bollocks. So here's me and a 7.5t truck in the central area of Birmingham desperately in need of some shut eye and nowhere to park. I finally decided to say fuck it and leave it on a bit of scrub shite land just next to the hotel entrance barrier figuring if I got a parking ticket work would probably pay for it anyway.

Wandered into room 420, brushed my teeth and snuggled up into bed ready for a good 8 hours of zzzzzzzzzzzz's and not surprisingly went out like a light.

02:45

I was awoken by some gobby trout wandering down the corridor outside my room shouting at the top of her lungs that the guy she was with was a "sheep shagger"

Thanks for that luv, information that will enrich my life I'm sure.

03:00 (ish)

All is quiet until I hear a sawing sound (hacksaw type) I toddle off to the window to see which thieving little wanker was trying to break into the truck. Truck was all clear so scanned around to see where exactly it was coming from.

Over to the right of the hotel in the "private parking area" is a man sitting on the floor next to his front off side wheel of his Audi cutting off a wheel clamp. Heh heh. This took him a good 45 mins of which you could sleep through the row of it.

04:00

Assuming that said "gobby trout" from before had now managed to get settled into her room, which just happened to be no 422 right next to mine. Oh great, here we go.

Ms trout and said sheep shagger then proceeded to shag at full volume and with such vigour against the headboard (which is back to back with the one in my room) so hard, I thought they were actually banging down the door. After about 10 mins of hammering I had to get my steelie boot and hammer back on the fucker.

That retaliation was obviously taken into account as after that headboard no longer banged. But I then I had on and off 3 fucking hours of gobby wailing "yes" and sheep shagger shouting "you like that don't you" Oh dear god. I will give them 10/10 for stamina but for annoyance to me factor minus 50.

Why does this always happen when you are alone and desperately in need of sleep? Either fucking typical (scuse the pun) or karma maybe. Either way I finally got about 2 hours sleep total, woke up at 8am and proceeded to make shit loads of noise to annoy their sleep before I went for my breaky then sodded off home.

I did however have one last laugh as on checking out happened to mention they should look out for the girl from room 422 when she does surface and see if she's walking like she lost her horse.

Currently listening: Employment By Kaiser Chiefs Release date: 15 March, 2005