Hello, Good evening and welcome!

Well I must apologies to those of you who were expecting to find me via the usual "happy with my wash" blog spotty thingty whatsit, but due to reasons I shall explain in a moment I needed to get back to the anonymity once again... well only from my sister it seems!

There was what can only be described as and exchange of true feelings between myself and said 'sister' of which after a cheeky arsed comment in relation to how I spent my money received as Christmas presents. ( yes, because that's her business after all now isn't it)

Obviously I wont go into too much detail because to be honest I really cant be arsed! But her usual sarcastic, patronising, snobby, treating me like a dumb fuck attitude really did make me fucking raw this time. You know what it's like, being family you just sit back, bite your tongue and normally ignore such jibes.

Nope, not this time. I decided to actually reply, stating just how fucking angry I was with her attitude and the fact that until she got all her facts straight she should just shut the fuck up and keep her opinionated comments to herself.

I also listed everything she had quoted I had been wasting my money on of late, and the fact that by justifying anything I had actually been doing or not as was the case proving she was wrong, should have check her facts first or god forbid actually asked me about what was happening. But no, she wouldn't talk to me now would she because it's none of her fucking business.

Either way I got a really nice "true colours" reply from her last night. Did it once mention the fact that she was wrong? Or admit she didn't get her facts straight before sprouting off her  patronising opinions one me once again? Was she even slightly apologetic for having put me down constantly for years?

Did she fuck.

She explained to me in detail about all of my numerous character flaws, how much of a bane I have always been to her throughout life, called me useless once again and that fact she has had to do sooooo much for me (listing everything down to each last detail of course) because remember, I am after all useless, can't do fuck all for myself and would just collapse into a quivvering mental heap without her to sort all my problems out.

Hmmmmm odd that, it never once mentioned any of the things I have actually done for her during our lifetime... or the fact that I have never actually asked for her help, it just seems to be lobbed in my general direction all the fucking time like it or not. Then the fact that anything that is said is always done in such a patronising bloody way of which I had just had a gutful of. Yep I was not allowed to have a go at her because obviously that there pedestal she's slapped herself on was far too high for her to be able to even want to know about little ole me... :D

So after this lovely once again very patronising email that didn't even mention anything I had said in the previous one which just as per usual put me back down where I deserve to be I have replied with the fact that it proved without a doubt that I was in fact correct in my assumtions that she's living in her own little fantasy dream world is a patronising cunt and I'm not just imagining it!

Oh well, not to worry, I wont be bothering you anymore as I really do feel a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders today and by jove, it might just have been my sisters foot off my head!

Funny as much as she didn't like me, I could list the things I cant stand about her threefold.

Good riddance

Angry? I should fucking say so.

I would just like to state for the record that if you are reading this blog and making up your own version on what my financial status is, you might want to check your email then decide what you want to make up, as I for one have had a fucking gutful of pretentious crap thanks. as my head now hurts. Oh and if its that much of a problem, stop reading my blog... simple!

Jinxed I tell you.... fooking jinxed!

Oh come on, what have I one to deserve this, this time?

Well whatever it is it's pissing me off royally I can tell you.

One is Short arses ex wife who is starting to turn into the bain from bloody hell with her ability to sweep everything under the carpet and be "protected" from it. Personally I would just beat her about the head with the fact hat WE are now expecting a call from bailiffs as from tomorrow. Oh such joy.

I would say that this is the least of my worries, but it actually is! The good news is the local "rival" surveying company who have somehow been undercutting our quotes by £150 a day have now gone bust! hmmm odd that.
But the good news is that we are already getting the back lash of work we missed out on... awww shame for them eh?

So I will be busy for a while it seems, will be hopefully getting arse into gear to get my financial situation sorted... once again caused by ex missus bless her fooking socks.

Fuck it, I give up - I really do.

Revenge of the wheels....

Well what can I blame? The weather? my somewhat lack of real maintenance? the fact I have to carry around a rather large gentleman for work? or just because the fact that my car is in fact just an R reg Renault scenic which has had it.

I'm guessing the latter.

And what has happened I hear you cry? Ok well maybe not but at least raise an eyebrow at least.

Nope this morning one of two things happened. Either my suspension has decided to just give out or my arse was that heavy this morning when I got in the car it decided "enough was enough"

Whatever the cause, the whole car has dropped in one corner (which does look most amusing - must be said) and I had to decide if I call someone out to me at home or at least try to limp into town (only about 11 miles after all... errm lol)

I got in, started the car and drove to the end of the road as a test. Hmm definitely not a happy car as you could hear the bodywork dragging on the actually tyre. So did I do the wise clever thing? Drive back to home and call the mechanic from there? Nahhhhh

I get back in and drive, using the back roads to mumsie Banks' at about 15 MPH much to the delight of everyone else commuting this morning.

So now, I sit here at mumsies, playing on her laptop waiting for the mechanics to come and collect the bloody thing to fix it!

Judging by all of my friends of late this is certainly not the first car to go screwy of late - so not expecting much sympathy. But maybe a little bit of a sigh of relief as was sure if anything the clutch was gonna give out first!

Talk about jinxed of late!

bah humbug

I know I can be a bit blunt sometimes but...

Fuck me did that hurt!

Yes, today I got my christmas pressie from the little legged one and it was a bloody great pisces fish tribal thingy kind of a design and as big as it was and as much as it hurt like buggery I LOVE IT! It's a pressie that I really wanted and it's perfect.

Only problem I have now is it's currently on my rather flabby bod of which I now need to get back into shape before I will feel comfortable showing it off to the world.
However, you can see the photo the guy took after he did it as he managed to somehow disguise just how fat I have been getting since the stoppage of fags..


But... that's not all I had done. I actually had another thing done of which I am a lot more proud of which is an addition to the original tribal tattoo on my right wrist and its:


So there we have it, yet more branding, of which my Mother will probably be mortified with when I do eventually decide to show her. But the most painful I have had but also the nicest.

As a suggestion to anyone else considering having a side tattoo, try sticking a snow shovel up your arse as it's probably less painful.

But daft as that is, still worth it.

Thanks Little legs, best present ever.
x

Happy New Year and all that tosh :P

Wow, what a fantastic Christmas and new year I've just had!

I shall recall it all to you in reverse as I am just rubbish at trying to remember chuff all these days- I'm guessing it me age *sigh*

Today we have had poorly Simon, not quite sure as to what is ailing him but sure he will recover...
So what did Little legs and I do for New Years Eve? Did we go out, get drunk? did we bollocks... We went fishing and how cool was that! The only catch was my wee 1/2lb whiting and I can only put that down to fluke! It was rough as arseholes in the end and we finally gave up and came home for a well earned bath. Click here for piccys
So once again... working backwards.... Christmas day here at Clements Castle with Mumsie Banks and Uncle Marmite which ended with much drunk Wii Sports playing... Lets just say all 4 of us couldn't move Boxing day due to bowling and baseball.... funny, very funny. Oddly, we didn't take any bloody photos Christmas day so can't share those but lets just say the other classic was the amount of Guinness consumed and the rather large amounts of stinky farts for the next 12 hours.

Then, the one other thing we realised today was I have now stopped smoking for a whole year. Fucking hell I would never have imagined that!

So the challenge for this year is to lose the bloody weight I have gained since stopping smoking!
Bunter Banks for hopefully not much longer.

Best wishes to you all for a prosperous 2010.

Deck the halls with balls and foobahs fa la la la la - la la la la

Oh look at the time! Well, and the date! How quickly has the year gone?

And all I can say is, what a grand year it has turned out to be, with things that were if I am honest I never expected, a job I am very happy in, things finally starting to come round and work, which is terrific. I've never smiled so much. I am a happy bunny.

Awwwwww enough to make you want to vomit! bwahahahaha

So today we (both myself and the little legged one) went to my works christmas meal and it was fantastic. All the food was scrum, in particular the dark chocolate pud with pistachio ice cream, clotted cream and Amarillo something or other which was truly scrumptious.

I for some strange reason decided not to drink and drove us there, not that it didn't deter from the fun, it was grand and the best bit? because t'other half isn't feeling very well we have snuggled up into bed and have every intention to not get out again until tomorrow! Good call!

So this is probably the last time I get a chance to say Merry Christmas until after the event so may you all have great fun, stay safe and warm where ever you may be and know that if your day goes tits, I've got Mumsie Banks here for the day and you just know that will just end in tears.

Take care all

Hx