Current mood:
weird Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
Well that'll teach me for taking the piss. They had advertised on the intraweb thingy at work that our dearly loved welfare officer was now one of these qualified no smoking councillor types with the ability to get you on her programme to quit smoking… opps. Twat here emailed her saying "go on then, I'll be your guinea pig" or words to that effect.
Evidently I went to see her today so we could start the whole ball rolling as to how what where when and why. Ohhhhh shit.
Not that I don't want to give up, as I would dearly love to but I was hoping for a slightly easier option along the lines of: put me in out for about a week so its all out of my system and I'll deal with the habit side of it from there thanks. A nice easy thought was to tie my hands together for a month.
Errrr no. She has now written to my GP asking for a prescription for these nicotine tab things that fizzle under your tongue (well, haven't tried those yet) and after a good hour long chat about how much I smoke, how many firemen would I chose to put me out type thing I had still evaded the dreaded question of; "So, when's your stop date going to be?"
Hmmm 2010 was sounding very good at that precise moment but she wasn't having any of that. After reading all the forms you have to fill in – you know the likes, name, address, shoe size and all that guff she spotted that my birthday was exactly a month away… she grinned and said "How about then?" Lets just say I said something along the lines of "If you think I am giving up on my birthday you can think again" – this was however somewhat more colourful I must confess.
So we came to an agreement that I would go for the 14th March instead. Great, hangover and giving up fags… good choice.
Ok so I'm sounding very disparaging about all of this but to be honest I'm really hoping that trying this way will give me a better shot at it.
Because I get on so well with this lass, I told her how I used to go to the "group sessions" once before of which we had our 'carbon emissions' tested every week to see how "clean" we were. Didn't take me long to figure as long as you hadn't had a fag at least 4 hours before you went you could be as clean as a chuffing whistle each time and still smoke like a train throughout the rest of the week. Box ticked, group therapy a bad choice for me then.
Also went through the entire day telling her as and when I smoke which to be honest is kin' loads. So by telling her of all of my sneaky tricks she will guess what I am up to.
Picking up on the trigger points of when I want a ciggie wasn't hard. We decided that I seem to smoke more often when having a cup of tea… no shit Sherlock. Unfortunately, this also brought to light that my tea consumption is absolutely humongous as well. Oh come on – I am a bloody council worker… what did you expect? No more caffeine highs for me in the afternoon then. Tits.
So this month, I am going to smoke like a loon, moan like a complete shit about it and then probably be an even more miserable tosser once I have turned 33 and stop smoking. Robbie Williams goes into re-hab on his 33rd birthday… I go to something much worse the day after mine…
The wrath of "THE WELFARE OFFICER" if I fail.
And to be honest… she'd fucking kill me.
 | Currently listening: I Predict a Riot By Kaiser Chiefs Release date: 31 May, 2005 |
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